Peaceful Closure

Am going to end this blog on a peaceful note. Therefore I've taken out the last post. :p

To be continued

High time I shifted to another blog anyway.

Here's the link: (Removed. on second thoughts, I'll only give the link to those who has gotten used to reading my blog or have benefitted in some ways, or people who love me dip dip. hehe. email me at judy09@yahoo.com)

BUT

This time, no more chatbox, and comments will be moderated. Please keep the chats coming in though. You have no idea how much I enjoy chatting with you.

Those who somewhat feel unwelcome (from how I post replies to you, you can roughly tell), you will feel more enriched doing community work. Don't waste your time despising my burdens. So, goodbye for the last time I hope.

Like I mentioned, there are friends who had been harsh and frank but they made their points without sarcasm and offered help in many many ways (suggestions, encouragements and even physically offering to help). You do not fall into categories of the unwelcomed. And I am more than thankful to have you be part of my life (if the feeling is mutual).

See you over THAT side *wink wink*

p.s: You don't need password to access because I don't know how to protect my privacy and at the same time, still give you guys the convenience to access my blog. Until I'm trolled again, I don't think I'll need a password.

updated: Just so that I do not need to 'shift' again, I think I'll just remove the link to filter out potential trolling.

The End

I have enough.

There are people who are truly concerned and I am thankful. An anonymous reader dropped me a comment which I've not published but I appreciate your frankness.

No I do not want to be unfair to Baileys and Maen. Yes I did and do love them. But no, no longer how I would have.

Long ago, when I was expecting AN and visited a friend who had only given birth, I saw their dog, a maltese with seriously matted fur, tied up outside their house (a landed). At that point, I did suggest to them, to have the dog put up for adoption. Which is more irresponsible? To leave the dog there or to find him a better family? Everyone will poll differently but I gave the irresponsible suggestion of having the dog given up for adoption. They had no time for the dog. But my friend's dad wouldn't give him up. He couldn't bear to. It's been 4 years now. And the dog is still there, tied up, with badly matted fur and bad skin condition. The dad still wouldn't give him up. Still can't bear to.

Fast forward back to 4 years ago, I wondered if I'd ever neglect Baileys and Maen at that point. I tried my very best not to have that happen. Were they important to me? Of course. When I felt tremors (AN was only 4-5 mths old then), I took the furkids with me and AN. They couldn't walk down stairs then, so we took the lift. Many people who cared not for dogs would have suggested "take the stairs! wait till the lift breaks down. See how you will have to die with your baby because of 2 dogs."

They still were important when we had to come up with a plan to bring them with us to the States. We settled for less (long flight on UA when we could have gone on SQ and not forgetting, Mr Liow has slip disc. SQ would have been of more comfort.), and we even travelled separately because the last domestic flight took only 1 dog. So I took AN and Maen. And then we returned by EVAir 2 years later (again, putting Mr Liow in a plane with little place to stretch and praying hard his slipdisc problems do not surface). We did not even go for the Japan getaway that Mr Liow had been talking about since we knew we would have 2 years in AZ. He wanted to stay longer in Japan when it's time to return to Singapore since SQ transits at Narita airport. But he did not get to do that, because we had to settle the furkids.

Mr Liow did not complain, and I silently appreciate all that he had been putting up with. He'll do as much for us as I need him to. Do I want to push him to a point where he has to sleep in the kitchen for Baileys and Maen, or even AN or ER? He's my hubby. If I have to give even the children up for him, I will.

Have I not tried? Even up till this point, I still am trying. Have I not gotten help? My part time domestic helper gave up on us coz she hates the "dog fur everywhere". But seriously, she wasn't of much help coz the pee stains and fur come back immediately after the floor gets cleaned. She just does SOME work for me.

Everyone has to sacrifice something for another. B used to be my baby, then Maen came, then AN came. When one younger than the other, one needy-er, joins the family, the others have to sacrifice and bear with less attention. The one whom I love most was the one I sacrificed most. Mr Liow had many plans since we got married but I suggested shelving them till later (which then never happened) since we had the furkids.

I could handle 2 dogs and a baby. Never would I have expected myself not to be able to handle a preschooler, 2 dogs and a baby. Really, I never expected things to be this different.

By order of sequence, my kids should go first because they were the ones who disrupted my life. Read this again, will any mum do this to their children, to consider giving them up instead of the dogs (for calling BM dogs, I can expect more one-liner hypocritism)? Tell me if any of your mums did this to you.

Maintaining a public journal is as good as putting myself and my family under the scrutiny of many people who do not know me, and those I do not know.

I have kept journals for as long as I can write. I wonder how many people get judged for their thoughts.

Many bloggers frankly proclaim that they will only write happy posts. Just so happen that silly me write everything I feel, good and bad, happy and sad thoughts. Is that my blindspot, that I'm emotionally unstable? Because I didn't know other humans never had negative periods. Or do I share more than my readers can take?

I do know that I AM extremely susceptible to emotional breakdowns, more so as a mum now. One way of preventing it from turning mental, is to write. I keep writing. I had been keeping journals since I learnt to write. That would be since my primary school days when all I knew was simple English.

I am not apt at expressing myself verbally. And I do not want to burden friends with too much sob stories when they ask a simple question of : "Hey! How are things?"

From here, they read, they know. And of course, along with sob stories, things that cheer me up. Things that make or break me. Things that I am made up of.

But I will no longer write for people who are not truly interested to know what's happening in my life, how I age and my thought patterns as I move on in years, through different parts of my life. And I will not write for people who have somewhat, expected something about me that have only served to disappoint. Because I and you, we're different.

Leave me your email in my comment box if you can accept that I will not meet your expectations and I will do something so you can still follow me on my journey. My life journal will continue elsewhere in blogger, this time more private.

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Headache

Mr Liow fell sick since Fri and is currently nursing the cough and mild runny nose. Hope he gets well soon, before our drive into M'sia.

I had itchy nose last evening and nose was blocked last night. Woke up with runny nose this morning. No cough, thank God.

But my head's throbbing. Am feeling worse as time passes. Been drinking as much water as I can. Praying that I'll be well by tomorrow. Duno how else I can take care of ER if I'm bedridden. Thank God too, that he's still not mobile else it'll be even worse. And he's not taking semi-solids yet, so I do not have to cook and feed him.

Am going to sleep the headache away now.

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Chaos

Mr Liow's uncle was hospitalised yesterday so we went out to visit him. Before we actually drove off, AN needed to pee, so MIL took her upstairs to pee.

Guess what? It had been just 10 mins after we left home and BM somehow managed to pull something off the dining table. They ate AN's snacks and the WHOLE FLOOR WAS STICKY!

Seeing that MIL and AN hadn't come down after nearly 20mins, Mr Liow went upstairs to check. mIL had been moping the floor and picking up pieces of torn packaging and food...

We went out this morning for lunch and when we came back, my diaper bag was ransacked again. Everything was scattered all over the floor! They tore up my new packs of wipes and now my nursing cover has fur all over. And my diaper bag, and all of ER's newly washed towels and bibs.....newly washed...

I'm tired...

What is wrong with them...........it's very very very draining.extremely draining. Can't we even have an hour of lunch without using to worry about how messy the house will be?? If not pee stains, it's fur. We just got rid of fur and they now turn into bandits.

We just came home from dinner. Maen was on our dining table when we got home. How on earth did she get up there???

AN had Coco crunch that she couldn't finish and we left it covered on the dining table. Needless to say, Maen finished every bit.

We had already pushed EVERY food items as far in on the dining table as possible and stacked containers over each other so that they are out of Baileys' reach. They couldn't get the food, they played with my diaper bag. Hours later, Maen got onto dining table and ate up coco crunch. Great. How much coco crunch will it take to kill a 6kg dog?

Thanks for SPCA's number. Sorry to disappoint whoever-you-are because if it's within my control, they will never end up there. But still, thanks for going the extra mile to get me this number. You have been the greatest evil this far.

To: Trolls

Ever since I no longer write "I-will-love-you-till-I-die" posts about B & M, my chatbox no longer flood messages like "oh they are so cute!". Not as if I hv time to worry over this now.

This is reality. Things have changed. The world turns everyday. Geez...

Now I am a dog abusive person.

Hi Trolls, please understand that nothing you write is going to change any situation. Your words do not give me extra time for them.

And after 4 months of not bathing, all that happened to them was that they stank. They are shaved down again and skin healthier than before I last bathed them. They do not sleep among their dung, drink their pee nor get the boot so they fly out of the window. But I do make them sleep without aircon, on their own bed. In the living room. And they drink and eat from their respective bowls. SORRY IF THIS MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE.

We are still on a lookout for families who will be able to care for them, precisely because they are neglected. Like I've mentioned many times, all they get now is basic daily needs like food and water. Don't you read? Or only in between the lines?

Pathetic.

Pathetic are dog owners, quick to judge, quick to condemn.

Pathetic.

5 months later

Today is 7 days into ER's 5th month. Let me just note his progress:

By now, he's able to see (I think. No more cross-eyes or losing focus), grab what he wants, and he reaches out to touch instead of grab. He can also flip but doesn't do it much.

Just a of couple days before he turned 5months, he succeeded in directing his toes into his mouth. He's doing it very often now. He must be excited at this new discovery: that he has more than fingers to chew on now. And he so adorably smile at whoever is looking at him while he savours his toe.

As for me, it slipped my mind to track my own weight loss. And when I did one day last week, I was 45.4kg! But at some point few days later, I was 46.8kg.

It's ok, coz even before I expected ER, my weight could range from 44-46kg all in one day. I was told it curious be that I "retain water", thus the drastic weight fluctuations in just one day, almost DAILY.

So, I think I've gone back to pre-Ethan weight. Yeah! Pre-Ethan size is next target. If I can just go back to pre-Adrielle weight, that will be ideal. I dare not be greedy though. I've read of once-nursing mums who kept putting on weight after the kid has been weaned off breast. I'll just stay with what I have now.

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Recovering

The kids appear to be recovering, I think.

ER is no longer leaking mucus as much now, coughing less and sleeping better at night.

AN on the other hand, started coughing quite badly again last night. She had gradually recovered over the week but the cough came back again :(

It's almost 3 weeks now. Virus, please just go away...

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Shaved BM

They are both shaved down again. Can't stand the fur flying all over the house and floating in the air. Fur everywhere, even on my nxxxxes when I nurse ER. When I notice them 'there', I sweep them away. When I do not take note, ER ingests them...sigh...Thank God the human kiddos are on breastmilk. I don't know how many time they may have to be sent to hospital for drips due to hygiene problems at home should they not be b-fed. I don't even know how fur got stuck 'there' for goodness' sake.

They look just JRTs again. And Maen who used to have dark spots have aged. Of course, Baileys too, just that he had always been the one with lighter spots. Ang mo (Australian) dog, so he's more of a blondie. Maen's spots are now so light, as light as Baileys', if not lighter. This is how we know they have grown old. Like we have white hairs (and the ang mos have grey ones?)

Oddly enough, those bumps that bothered them in the beginning were all gone, as with that moist lump on Baileys' neck. Up till now, I have totally no idea what those bumps were (or if they were as the vet suggested but apparently, I am supposed to rule that out because Baileys was supposed to have that since long ago...drat.). But anyhow, they are back to looking clean and skin-healthy again. For as long as they stay short-furred, I'll try to bath them weekly. They have slimmed down quite a fair bit though. Need some fattening..up the kibbles amount.

Sorry to say but the last time I bathed them was when they came home in Oct. Been 4 months, I know. But no time to bath them. And when they started to stink, even if I tried to squeeze some time to bath them, I would have no time to dry them. Each takes me almost 2 hours to do a proper grooming regime in the past..and I don't have 4 hours to sit there doing that in peace now.Not unless I'm looking at having AN nag at me to do this and that with her and ER screaming for something in the background (that when all else fails, "he must be hungry"). I don't even have 1 hours of peace to just paint with AN now..OMG..Time management. Where art thou, time???? Where hath thou goneth??

Had pictures, but blogger leaves me no choice but to post them elsewhere. Will post them in their album on my FB when I have time (where oh where are you?). Complain no time, still got time to blog, right? Coz this is one time I take a little break to find my sanity back as I allow myself to let go of cooped up thoughts.

Gtg.

Girly AN

AN is wearing the dresses she has in her wardrobe, one after another, everyday. And we do not go shopping everyday. She is simply OBSESSED with dresses!

We bought her 2 pj dresses. Why are pjs so costly?? $19 to sleep on? But the look of joy on her face is priceless, so they were worth every shilling.

My mum got her another one. That makes 3, and that made the little girl a very happy princess. Even if she has zero pj dresses, she still has her outdoor dresses to sleep in. That's going to explain why her dresses all look more worn than other clothes.

She says: "All the princesses wear dresses! That's why I need to wear a dress to sleep too."

Adrielle has her own set of princess-y regulations and moves:
"I don't want to tie my hair because princesses don't tie hair." This is after repeating Rapunzel over and over again in the car whenever we go out (title of the cartoon: Tangled).
She picks up the end of her dress and goes twirling the moment she puts one on and whenever she hears music. "That's what a princess do(es)", she says.
When I tell her off for behaving spoilt like a princess, she replies: "I'm a princess what."

I remember mentioning here in my blog when she was about 2 years old, that I was worried she'll grow up behaving like a boy. She hated dresses then, and hated to have her hair tied up!

Now it's all about dresses and how she wants me to tie her hair.

*phew*

She is indeed a girl, our princess :)

Some Peace

The furkids are away for grooming, AN is in school. I'm finally enjoying some serenity!

ER didnt sleep much last nite and I had to carry him. It happened every hour or less. lost count of how many times I had to get up and out. He seemed better last night compared to Tuesday night. Can't figure out what had been upsetting him.

Baileys and Maen standby outside our room after the 2 early risers (Mr Liow and AN) leaves the house each morning and during naps. Baileys has to keep banging on the door to wake us up without fail (on days when I get no sleep at night, I make it up during the day when ER sleeps). How to ever get enough rest when they all take turns to wake me up!

Now that 3 noisy ones are out of the house and the one noisy one is sleeping better, I'm going to have to recharge a bit.

Or should I wash the shower since for once the furkids are away?

I think I better rest.

Adrielle and Ethan Again

Adrielle loves playing with Ethan. It's hard to separate them so you can expect how quickly one catches a virus from the other. This was when AN first got sick (and in the process of passing it on to ER)


AN tries to pacify the crying one (sometimes resorting to singing him songs when I am busy). And she is aware soiled diapers upset her little baby too. She wants his diapers changed but dares not do it because she says she will throw up when she sees his poop.

The Giggly Sick ER

Andy in Christchurch

For those who do not know my family well, I have a brother who's one year younger and an officer with Singapore's Civil Defence Force. He's a firefighter.

Before he got in, we used to talk about how fires in Singapore are generally mild, and we hardly hear of fires. We thought firefighters in Singapore are paid to do nothing much. How wrong! One day, Andy showed us some clips of real life fires that he led his team to put out.

We were dumbfounded at the magnitude of one such fire they went to put out. It was burning soooo badly at least 6 surrounding units of that HDB flat appeared engulfed. A maid was locked in and screaming eerily in the middle of the night. They got her out but she suffered burns.

There were many others that were no less dangerous. Not to forget, they rescue people, both living and departed. He spoke of drowned corpses that they need to fish out of river etc.

At that moment, I was so proud that he's my brother, a brave fire fighter! Mr Liow couldn't help but remind him to do his best AND remember that he's human too (in case that adrenalin rush during each mission makes him forget he has no superhuman powers). Even Mr Liow gets worried over what Andy has to do.

Soon enough, he got posted out and is now working office hours. He must miss all those actions (coz he's got other plans in progress). But he still gets to go on firefighting missions (if he's needed) during his "on-duty" days, and has to be on standby for big events like National Day, F1 race dates, Youth Olympics (just to name a few).

Just this morning, he called to inform me that there had been an earthquake in Christchurch and he was awaiting instructions to be sent there to assist in rescue work. Our parents said he came home in the afternoon to pack and left after a quick early dinner.

He'll be there for a week.

As much as I always complain about last minute work commitments that befalls Mr Liow sometimes, nothing beats this, that he has to leave the country at last minute notice, for a week, to do dangerous stuff.

Saw on the news that one of the after-quake tremors rated 5.7. That's still bad. Imagine rubbles giving way while rescuers are on them or trapped victims becoming even more trapped.

This disaster is more personal, coz Andy is there. While others are evacuated from danger zone, rescuers like him enter the same danger zone.

To think that we were planning for a mahjong session this Sat evening. Guess we'll have to wait for him to come back in a week. Can't wait to hear his stories!

Lord, please protect him and the other rescuers as they search for trapped victims. We pray You'll comfort those waiting to be found, and families of those who did not make it. Please keep tremors mild so they will not affect rescue works. Please help those doing rescue to look into right places. Please bring Andy home safely. In your mighty name we ask of these.

A week later

This is start of the 2nd week of the kids' battle against those viruses.

AN's stools have gone back to normal since 2 days ago. She doesn't look like her cough and runny nose will get better anytime soon but she's not coughing as much now as she did last week. She had also been bleeding from her left nostril randomly since last Thursday. It started off as little as bloodstains from scratches but appeared in quite an alarming amount before nap an hour ago. It dripped right out of her nose! Will get her to stop digging for gold in those nostrils of hers and from blowing mucus out to see if it helps prevent bleeding. Seems like frequent and over aggressive blowing of the nose does bring about nose bleeding according to many sources online.

ER too had caught the bug (thankfully not the diarrhoea!). He slept better on Fri night after a horrendously sleepless Thursday night. Nose was blocked from Saturday night and I've not been sleeping since then. He kept waking up gasping for air and as expected, he couldn't nurse well too.

AN is sleeping with Mr Liow again tonight. Really, better to separate than have them catch it from each other all over again. Please pray for that bleeding nose. It bleeds each time AN blows out mucus. We told her not to but the collected mucus gets so uncomfy she goes blow it when we are not paying attention.

As for ER, we're not using the aircon tonight. His nose was blocked last night and I so wanted to suck those mucus out but they were sort of dry coz of the aircon, so I decided not to. Didn't wanna damage his nose. If he's not breathing easily again tonight, I'll suck those mucus out.

I'm also tired coz I carried ER in my arms so he slept better, whole of last night, after noticing that he got woken up every 30mins to an hour.

Me cranky means I become very very unforgiving towards little things AN did. Little things made me flare up terribly. I refused to look at her or forgive her even after she apologised, worse when she kept blowing her nose and digging into it after repeatedly being reminded not to.

Oh God, I need sleep. I need to sleep to behave like a normal human. I need the kids to recover too. AN's bleeding nose worries me but I had to keep calm and make little fuss of it, coz my parents were already starting to panic when they saw that for the 1st time this afternoon. And the level of discomfort ER's sometimes-leaky-sometimes-blocked nose makes him causes me heartache too. Dr say it may become Bronchitis. Please, God. Don't allow it to get that bad.

I'm going to catch some sleep before ER wakes up in discomfort again.

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Our sick ER

He had been whining whole night so each time he whined, I'd try to nurse him. He was not as easily pacified.

Just fed him medicine (3hrs later than it should have been fed because he was under 38°C those few times I took his temp) but I did not suppose all went in. had only night light on and couldn't really see.

He cried for a while as I wiped his body to bring his temperature down. Somehow the wiping tickled him and he started giggling.

So cute. Hehe!

I'm tired but he's keeping me awake with his smiles and coos. He looks so happy and excited now despite running a temperature of 38.3°C again. That's how he's supposed to behave, else it may well be something serious.

He's 'asking' me to stop blogging now to play with him by waving the wet towel I placed in his head and kicking for attention.

My nose is slightly blocked by now as well. My turn soon I think. Pray that I'll not fall very sick. If I have to catch their virus, I pray that I'll only show symptoms after they recover. And Lord, please make them strong so they won't be affected by this same virus again. Please give me powerful mem mem, enough for both to drink and gain antibodies to protect themselves. Please also protect Mr Liow and our parents from its attack.Thank You for making us well each time after falling sick. We pray for relief and that You'll comfort our kids as they fight this naughty thing. In Your mighty name we ask, Amen.

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祸不单行

We're back from seeing Dr Lim. AN is not in more trouble than she is in discomfort.

Dr Lim summarised her condition: Her fever peaked on Sun and she was on her way to recovering from stomach virus. Then, she picked up the cough/runny nose virus on Tues, the only day this week that she went to school. That was when she started coughing and her nose started "running" before her fever came back, 37.8°C at its highest. 2 fevers, 2 viruses, 1 week.

Doctor expects her to recover by Sun. She'll not be going to school tomorrow. Not wise to return the virus back to the classroom.

Like the previous time, we were given a variety of medicines. Dr explained that it's good to have them in stock to provide relief when necessary. For fever, we got 2 bottles (one for normal relief, one for high fever), 2 bottles for runny nose (zrytec that's less drowsy for daytime, and polaramine that will help her sleep better at night), one for cough, one for sore throat if it comes, and more probiotics.

I'm super relieved that AN takes her medicines willingly now! In fact, she seems to look forward to medicine time coz she kept asking if it was time for next dose.

She's also drinking lots of water, which was dosed to be good but...she's drinking too much. I give her water in a 500ml bottle and she's at her 5th refill now! Isn't 2.5l of water in addition to soupy porridge a little too much? Or is that fine coz she's still having diarrhoea?

This time, being sick makes her hungry. She keeps asking for food, most of which are either not available or not advisable. But at least she's eating and interested.

Dr Lim also advised us to keep AN and ER away from each other. AN should recover from this quite easily but if ER catches it from her, he'll get it worse.

Bad news is, as we expected, ER caught it and he started feeling warm after his nap. AN couldn't stop kissing him even when sick. Acts of love can be costly. Sigh..

He measured 38.3°C! Gave him fever medicine and he's now at 37.6°C. He's having runny nose too :(

This is going to be a super busy weekend. The official busy-ness starts today with medicine time (following alarm and schedule), helping AN to toilet coz of frequency of diarrhoea and pee (from the amt of water she drank today) and planning for next dose of medicine to feed them.

Mr Liow will care for AN tonight and me for ER as we did last night. Poor Mr Liow still has to go to work. Praying that he will be strong and not fall sick.

Praying that both kids will recover soon. Pray for me to be careful with the medicines (not to fed wrong med to wrong kid at wrong time). Pray that BM will not mess the house up. I can't do so many things at one go :( Praying for super powers after Mr Liow goes to work tomorrow.

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Poor AN

She had been coughing almost non stop whole of today. Her appetite shrank but surprisingly she still ate. She's also carrying her bottle of honey water around to, asking for more when each time she emptied her bottle.

She's having runny nose now as well. Other than these upsetting and inconvenience behaviours (upsets and inconvenient to her), she actually behaved her usual self.

She's still passing loose stools, almost as explosive as past few days but not as bad. She had it just once yesterday and twice today. Been giving get lactoforte and she's not resisting any dose either. *phew*

That was daytime.

It just got worse after dinner. Her eyes looked puffy and she got really tired. It could be that she was sleepy so I took her into the room earlier. Her temperature is slowly increasing too, from 37°c to 37.8°c half hour ago. She drifted in and out of sleep, waking up in tears complaining of tummyache :( And she kept coughing and threw up once coz of the cough :(

To prevent ER from catching these from her, which I believe he's already caught something (an infant going through these same discomforts will be far worse, for him, and us!), Mr Liow asked me to sleep with ER in our Masterbed room and he'll take care of AN tonight in the kids' room.

I'd been losing my patience many times today coz the cranky and sick princess was more fussy than usual: honey too hot, dun like this bottle, wanting porridge when my dad got her kway tiao soup, whine whine whine. As much as it pains me to see her cringe in pain when tummyache hits her, when she keeps coughing herself awake after finally falling asleep, it is also challenging for me to see it happening as a result of her discomfort.

Really, I must be the worst mum ever :( I remembered feeling very loved when I fell sick as a child. I hope I'm doing enough (I hide to explode, not in front of my poor sick AN). I have to do more than enough! She's already suffering as it is :(

P.s: I can even hear her coughing behind 2 closed doors. Please help keep the kids in prayer ok? Pray for protection and recovery. Amen.

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Multitude of viruses?

I know children fall sick easily once they get to school (coz they catch viruses from each other real fast) and now sees for myself how easy.

AN missed school on Mon coz she had fever and diarrhoea. She was better yesterday (except for a little coughing at night while she slept), so off to school she went. By the time we went to my parents' place in the evening, her cough had gotten worse. And she had puffy eyes. Mum said AN wanted to sleep the moment she came back from school and fell asleep in no time. She coughed the whole evening and it was even worse last night! She hardly even had much break from coughing!

She must be real tired, so I thought she might appreciate more rest at home and sms-ed Mr Liow (I slept with the kids and Mr Liow in his own room). I didn't realised that he has stopped setting his own alarm and fell asleep while lying close to my little girl as she requested. Didn't feel at ease when I woke up again at 7.30am. Called Mr Liow and he only woke up when he answered my call.

He just rushed out coz he had to get to Tengah base on time and that's at the other end of Singapore. I felt so sorry. I should have informed him, or woken him at least.

Praying that today will be a gd day. Praying that AN will pass normal stool again and that her cough will go away soon. Saw a note in her school bag informing of 2 HFM cases. Praying that she has not caught it and will not catch it.

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Draining

AN is barely recovering from diarrhoea and tummyache and she's also started coughing last night and blowing mucus into tissue. Her fever has gone down but she doesn't seem to have recovered. She's still at 37°C. Is that fever?

ER is cranky today. We pray he's not infected by her. No diarrhoea, no cough or blocked nose again please :(

It didn't help that Baileys and Maen just can't stop stepping pee all over the floor. I mopped it 3 times today because of the mess. No, it's not because I was too particular. It was like plooping 4 wet paw-sized mops all over the floor. The pee staining just keeps getting worse coz their paw fur is super long now, and absorbent. The floor was wet, with PEE!

3 Times I mopped before leaving for my parents' place for dinner. In merely 3hrs, we returned home to a disgusting house again. Not just pee stains, but a puddle of pee away from the paper that flowed all over the toilet floor along the tile grouting.

And poo. Drips of the softer part of their poop lined the toilet but not on paper. One or maybe even both, scooted on the tiles. I saw 2 trails of poop. No, I didn't inspect the floor but I could see coz they were trails of poo...

It was total chaos. If Mr Liow was not with me, I'm very very sure I'd have lost my sanity tending to a crying baby and preschooler grimacing in pain at her tummy while staring at the mess made in a matter of only 3 hours. Only 3 hours. Do I deserve this sort of mess just to have 3 hours with my parents?

Mr Liow did the cleaning up. He mopped twice, first with dettol and second with just water. I feel like we're living in a waste centre. Never a second of hygiene.

I no longer allow AN to touch BM coz she NEVER remembers to stop putting her hands in her mouth. This finger slurping started only lately...attention seeking? I'm not sure, but no amount of reminding helps. And I freak out when she touches the floor coz I try not to look down now (unless it's the type of mess we had today, I'll not mop the floor), but we all know the bacterias are there! Imagine AN licking up their pee. This is as close as it gets...

This is costing me my sanity. seriously. I don't know when I'll lose it.

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