Was chatting with MIL last evening over some pictures I took with my SHSS gal buddies during the Japan trip in 1996.
MIL frankly commented that she did not allow Mr Liow to join us then coz it was a waste of money in her opinion and they did not have the financial means to allow him to go back then. She said she didn't know it cost so little tho (with Edusave and sponsors, we paid only S$500 each to travel to Japan), then she added that she probably knew but still thought it was a waste of money anyway.
Sets me thinking about my parents' financial status when we were still kids.
My dad was not very educated and worked as a store keeper when we were little. He was paid a miserably low amount and worked almost all 7 days a week. I remembered watching him leave the house when we woke up in the morning and him carrying us back into room at the end of the day coz we would fall asleep on the sofa watching TV and waiting for him to come home.
Mum left her job to take care of us full time after grandma was needed at my uncle's to take care of my younger cousins.
With his miserable pay, he gave us (Andy and I) daily allowances that would make up 2/3 of his total nett income. Mum (grudgingly) got only a little part of whatever's left and dad himself spent even lesser. In fact, he NEVER got himself anything at all!
When we started working part-time during vacations, my parents vehemently refused every cent I tried to give them. Mum relented and took $20 from me once, then got reprimanded by my dad for taking money from me.
My parents never travelled further than M'sia themselves (not even to Thailand, till once in the recent years and to Aust for Andy's graduation 2 yrs back). They simply didn't have the means to travel. Yet somehow they managed to fork out $500 for my 1st trip with the volleyball team to Taiwan, and then another $500 to Japan the next year.
To make things easier for my dad financially, I worked during vacations while waiting to enter Polytechnic to earn my own school fees so that he need to worry only about Andy's school fees the next year. Yet each time when it was time to pay up, he'd firmly insist he pays and suggested that I keep my money for future use. He would get angry if I tried to 'disobey'.
It took me quite a while to get a permanent job after graduating coz economy was bad then. He refused to take the allowances I gave him each month, insisting that he'd take some from me when I get my 1st 'proper' job. If most parents would expect at least a little 'thoughtful' amount each month, then my dad bordered on being wierd.
Mum, having very little income herself (she started working part time when we got to secondary school), didn't mind any amount I gave her but I remembered hearing her complain that my dad wasn't happy she actually took my money..hmm..
With a REAL job finally, dad agreed to whatever little amount of allowance I gave him. But not without asking every single time "do you have enough for yourself to spend?"
I had to start saving for our wedding and asked if I could give them a little lesser. They were supportive and dad even suggested that I keep the money for ourselves till after our wedding..how more sweet can a father be?
So, since we had our own home, till the day I left a 'stable' job, dad never failed to reject my every attempt to give him any money. His excuse each time will be "give me after you find a job" to which I'll reply him "I'll never be working in the office again." (an office job IS a 'job' to the folks). He insisted that he'll only take from me when I start working and reasoned that I need to help Mr Liow out financially too.
My parents have had hard times since they were young too. Never been rich, never had everything they hoped to have. With that, mum would always tell me since young, that as long as it was within their means, they will never let us be in want.
We didn't have Nintendo, but we got Micro Genius (a 'chiong' version of the then highly sought after game set). We didn't have computers but we had a little kiddy laptop. I was hoping for encyclopedias (we all know how costly they used to be!), couldn't afford that obviously, but mum got us a set of books from Times that cost more than $1K and paid for those books by installment for years.
We even got a computer afterall, when we got into Poly!
All parents have their own ways of bringing up their kids and I'm in no position to say any of them are bad parents. Yet the more I think about it, the more I love my parents for how sacrificial they had always been, even till now.
As a child, I used to be ashamed to tell classmates that my dad worked as a store keeper (classmates had parents who drive big cars and live in bungalows!).
As an adult now, looking back at how much I've received from them, I just can't help it but feel the need to pen down how proud I am to have parents like them.
I've learnt much from them, even tho they never verbally taught me how to bring my kids up.
They are not perfect (I complain about them a lot. haha!) but I am thankful I have them in my life.
MIL frankly commented that she did not allow Mr Liow to join us then coz it was a waste of money in her opinion and they did not have the financial means to allow him to go back then. She said she didn't know it cost so little tho (with Edusave and sponsors, we paid only S$500 each to travel to Japan), then she added that she probably knew but still thought it was a waste of money anyway.
Sets me thinking about my parents' financial status when we were still kids.
My dad was not very educated and worked as a store keeper when we were little. He was paid a miserably low amount and worked almost all 7 days a week. I remembered watching him leave the house when we woke up in the morning and him carrying us back into room at the end of the day coz we would fall asleep on the sofa watching TV and waiting for him to come home.
Mum left her job to take care of us full time after grandma was needed at my uncle's to take care of my younger cousins.
With his miserable pay, he gave us (Andy and I) daily allowances that would make up 2/3 of his total nett income. Mum (grudgingly) got only a little part of whatever's left and dad himself spent even lesser. In fact, he NEVER got himself anything at all!
When we started working part-time during vacations, my parents vehemently refused every cent I tried to give them. Mum relented and took $20 from me once, then got reprimanded by my dad for taking money from me.
My parents never travelled further than M'sia themselves (not even to Thailand, till once in the recent years and to Aust for Andy's graduation 2 yrs back). They simply didn't have the means to travel. Yet somehow they managed to fork out $500 for my 1st trip with the volleyball team to Taiwan, and then another $500 to Japan the next year.
To make things easier for my dad financially, I worked during vacations while waiting to enter Polytechnic to earn my own school fees so that he need to worry only about Andy's school fees the next year. Yet each time when it was time to pay up, he'd firmly insist he pays and suggested that I keep my money for future use. He would get angry if I tried to 'disobey'.
It took me quite a while to get a permanent job after graduating coz economy was bad then. He refused to take the allowances I gave him each month, insisting that he'd take some from me when I get my 1st 'proper' job. If most parents would expect at least a little 'thoughtful' amount each month, then my dad bordered on being wierd.
Mum, having very little income herself (she started working part time when we got to secondary school), didn't mind any amount I gave her but I remembered hearing her complain that my dad wasn't happy she actually took my money..hmm..
With a REAL job finally, dad agreed to whatever little amount of allowance I gave him. But not without asking every single time "do you have enough for yourself to spend?"
I had to start saving for our wedding and asked if I could give them a little lesser. They were supportive and dad even suggested that I keep the money for ourselves till after our wedding..how more sweet can a father be?
So, since we had our own home, till the day I left a 'stable' job, dad never failed to reject my every attempt to give him any money. His excuse each time will be "give me after you find a job" to which I'll reply him "I'll never be working in the office again." (an office job IS a 'job' to the folks). He insisted that he'll only take from me when I start working and reasoned that I need to help Mr Liow out financially too.
My parents have had hard times since they were young too. Never been rich, never had everything they hoped to have. With that, mum would always tell me since young, that as long as it was within their means, they will never let us be in want.
We didn't have Nintendo, but we got Micro Genius (a 'chiong' version of the then highly sought after game set). We didn't have computers but we had a little kiddy laptop. I was hoping for encyclopedias (we all know how costly they used to be!), couldn't afford that obviously, but mum got us a set of books from Times that cost more than $1K and paid for those books by installment for years.
We even got a computer afterall, when we got into Poly!
All parents have their own ways of bringing up their kids and I'm in no position to say any of them are bad parents. Yet the more I think about it, the more I love my parents for how sacrificial they had always been, even till now.
As a child, I used to be ashamed to tell classmates that my dad worked as a store keeper (classmates had parents who drive big cars and live in bungalows!).
As an adult now, looking back at how much I've received from them, I just can't help it but feel the need to pen down how proud I am to have parents like them.
I've learnt much from them, even tho they never verbally taught me how to bring my kids up.
They are not perfect (I complain about them a lot. haha!) but I am thankful I have them in my life.
No comments:
Post a Comment