Monday, February 28, 2011


Mr Liow fell sick since Fri and is currently nursing the cough and mild runny nose. Hope he gets well soon, before our drive into M'sia.

I had itchy nose last evening and nose was blocked last night. Woke up with runny nose this morning. No cough, thank God.

But my head's throbbing. Am feeling worse as time passes. Been drinking as much water as I can. Praying that I'll be well by tomorrow. Duno how else I can take care of ER if I'm bedridden. Thank God too, that he's still not mobile else it'll be even worse. And he's not taking semi-solids yet, so I do not have to cook and feed him.

Am going to sleep the headache away now.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.6

Sunday, February 27, 2011


Mr Liow's uncle was hospitalised yesterday so we went out to visit him. Before we actually drove off, AN needed to pee, so MIL took her upstairs to pee.

Guess what? It had been just 10 mins after we left home and BM somehow managed to pull something off the dining table. They ate AN's snacks and the WHOLE FLOOR WAS STICKY!

Seeing that MIL and AN hadn't come down after nearly 20mins, Mr Liow went upstairs to check. mIL had been moping the floor and picking up pieces of torn packaging and food...

We went out this morning for lunch and when we came back, my diaper bag was ransacked again. Everything was scattered all over the floor! They tore up my new packs of wipes and now my nursing cover has fur all over. And my diaper bag, and all of ER's newly washed towels and bibs.....newly washed...

I'm tired...

What is wrong with's very very very draining.extremely draining. Can't we even have an hour of lunch without using to worry about how messy the house will be?? If not pee stains, it's fur. We just got rid of fur and they now turn into bandits.

We just came home from dinner. Maen was on our dining table when we got home. How on earth did she get up there???

AN had Coco crunch that she couldn't finish and we left it covered on the dining table. Needless to say, Maen finished every bit.

We had already pushed EVERY food items as far in on the dining table as possible and stacked containers over each other so that they are out of Baileys' reach. They couldn't get the food, they played with my diaper bag. Hours later, Maen got onto dining table and ate up coco crunch. Great. How much coco crunch will it take to kill a 6kg dog?

Thanks for SPCA's number. Sorry to disappoint whoever-you-are because if it's within my control, they will never end up there. But still, thanks for going the extra mile to get me this number. You have been the greatest evil this far.

To: Trolls

Ever since I no longer write "I-will-love-you-till-I-die" posts about B & M, my chatbox no longer flood messages like "oh they are so cute!". Not as if I hv time to worry over this now.

This is reality. Things have changed. The world turns everyday. Geez...

Now I am a dog abusive person.

Hi Trolls, please understand that nothing you write is going to change any situation. Your words do not give me extra time for them.

And after 4 months of not bathing, all that happened to them was that they stank. They are shaved down again and skin healthier than before I last bathed them. They do not sleep among their dung, drink their pee nor get the boot so they fly out of the window. But I do make them sleep without aircon, on their own bed. In the living room. And they drink and eat from their respective bowls. SORRY IF THIS MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE.

We are still on a lookout for families who will be able to care for them, precisely because they are neglected. Like I've mentioned many times, all they get now is basic daily needs like food and water. Don't you read? Or only in between the lines?


Pathetic are dog owners, quick to judge, quick to condemn.


5 months later

Today is 7 days into ER's 5th month. Let me just note his progress:

By now, he's able to see (I think. No more cross-eyes or losing focus), grab what he wants, and he reaches out to touch instead of grab. He can also flip but doesn't do it much.

Just a of couple days before he turned 5months, he succeeded in directing his toes into his mouth. He's doing it very often now. He must be excited at this new discovery: that he has more than fingers to chew on now. And he so adorably smile at whoever is looking at him while he savours his toe.

As for me, it slipped my mind to track my own weight loss. And when I did one day last week, I was 45.4kg! But at some point few days later, I was 46.8kg.

It's ok, coz even before I expected ER, my weight could range from 44-46kg all in one day. I was told it curious be that I "retain water", thus the drastic weight fluctuations in just one day, almost DAILY.

So, I think I've gone back to pre-Ethan weight. Yeah! Pre-Ethan size is next target. If I can just go back to pre-Adrielle weight, that will be ideal. I dare not be greedy though. I've read of once-nursing mums who kept putting on weight after the kid has been weaned off breast. I'll just stay with what I have now.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.6


The kids appear to be recovering, I think.

ER is no longer leaking mucus as much now, coughing less and sleeping better at night.

AN on the other hand, started coughing quite badly again last night. She had gradually recovered over the week but the cough came back again :(

It's almost 3 weeks now. Virus, please just go away...

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.6

Friday, February 25, 2011

Shaved BM

They are both shaved down again. Can't stand the fur flying all over the house and floating in the air. Fur everywhere, even on my nxxxxes when I nurse ER. When I notice them 'there', I sweep them away. When I do not take note, ER ingests them...sigh...Thank God the human kiddos are on breastmilk. I don't know how many time they may have to be sent to hospital for drips due to hygiene problems at home should they not be b-fed. I don't even know how fur got stuck 'there' for goodness' sake.

They look just JRTs again. And Maen who used to have dark spots have aged. Of course, Baileys too, just that he had always been the one with lighter spots. Ang mo (Australian) dog, so he's more of a blondie. Maen's spots are now so light, as light as Baileys', if not lighter. This is how we know they have grown old. Like we have white hairs (and the ang mos have grey ones?)

Oddly enough, those bumps that bothered them in the beginning were all gone, as with that moist lump on Baileys' neck. Up till now, I have totally no idea what those bumps were (or if they were as the vet suggested but apparently, I am supposed to rule that out because Baileys was supposed to have that since long ago...drat.). But anyhow, they are back to looking clean and skin-healthy again. For as long as they stay short-furred, I'll try to bath them weekly. They have slimmed down quite a fair bit though. Need some fattening..up the kibbles amount.

Sorry to say but the last time I bathed them was when they came home in Oct. Been 4 months, I know. But no time to bath them. And when they started to stink, even if I tried to squeeze some time to bath them, I would have no time to dry them. Each takes me almost 2 hours to do a proper grooming regime in the past..and I don't have 4 hours to sit there doing that in peace now.Not unless I'm looking at having AN nag at me to do this and that with her and ER screaming for something in the background (that when all else fails, "he must be hungry"). I don't even have 1 hours of peace to just paint with AN now..OMG..Time management. Where art thou, time???? Where hath thou goneth??

Had pictures, but blogger leaves me no choice but to post them elsewhere. Will post them in their album on my FB when I have time (where oh where are you?). Complain no time, still got time to blog, right? Coz this is one time I take a little break to find my sanity back as I allow myself to let go of cooped up thoughts.


Girly AN

AN is wearing the dresses she has in her wardrobe, one after another, everyday. And we do not go shopping everyday. She is simply OBSESSED with dresses!

We bought her 2 pj dresses. Why are pjs so costly?? $19 to sleep on? But the look of joy on her face is priceless, so they were worth every shilling.

My mum got her another one. That makes 3, and that made the little girl a very happy princess. Even if she has zero pj dresses, she still has her outdoor dresses to sleep in. That's going to explain why her dresses all look more worn than other clothes.

She says: "All the princesses wear dresses! That's why I need to wear a dress to sleep too."

Adrielle has her own set of princess-y regulations and moves:
"I don't want to tie my hair because princesses don't tie hair." This is after repeating Rapunzel over and over again in the car whenever we go out (title of the cartoon: Tangled).
She picks up the end of her dress and goes twirling the moment she puts one on and whenever she hears music. "That's what a princess do(es)", she says.
When I tell her off for behaving spoilt like a princess, she replies: "I'm a princess what."

I remember mentioning here in my blog when she was about 2 years old, that I was worried she'll grow up behaving like a boy. She hated dresses then, and hated to have her hair tied up!

Now it's all about dresses and how she wants me to tie her hair.


She is indeed a girl, our princess :)

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Some Peace

The furkids are away for grooming, AN is in school. I'm finally enjoying some serenity!

ER didnt sleep much last nite and I had to carry him. It happened every hour or less. lost count of how many times I had to get up and out. He seemed better last night compared to Tuesday night. Can't figure out what had been upsetting him.

Baileys and Maen standby outside our room after the 2 early risers (Mr Liow and AN) leaves the house each morning and during naps. Baileys has to keep banging on the door to wake us up without fail (on days when I get no sleep at night, I make it up during the day when ER sleeps). How to ever get enough rest when they all take turns to wake me up!

Now that 3 noisy ones are out of the house and the one noisy one is sleeping better, I'm going to have to recharge a bit.

Or should I wash the shower since for once the furkids are away?

I think I better rest.

Adrielle and Ethan Again

Adrielle loves playing with Ethan. It's hard to separate them so you can expect how quickly one catches a virus from the other. This was when AN first got sick (and in the process of passing it on to ER)

AN tries to pacify the crying one (sometimes resorting to singing him songs when I am busy). And she is aware soiled diapers upset her little baby too. She wants his diapers changed but dares not do it because she says she will throw up when she sees his poop.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

The Giggly Sick ER

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Andy in Christchurch

For those who do not know my family well, I have a brother who's one year younger and an officer with Singapore's Civil Defence Force. He's a firefighter.

Before he got in, we used to talk about how fires in Singapore are generally mild, and we hardly hear of fires. We thought firefighters in Singapore are paid to do nothing much. How wrong! One day, Andy showed us some clips of real life fires that he led his team to put out.

We were dumbfounded at the magnitude of one such fire they went to put out. It was burning soooo badly at least 6 surrounding units of that HDB flat appeared engulfed. A maid was locked in and screaming eerily in the middle of the night. They got her out but she suffered burns.

There were many others that were no less dangerous. Not to forget, they rescue people, both living and departed. He spoke of drowned corpses that they need to fish out of river etc.

At that moment, I was so proud that he's my brother, a brave fire fighter! Mr Liow couldn't help but remind him to do his best AND remember that he's human too (in case that adrenalin rush during each mission makes him forget he has no superhuman powers). Even Mr Liow gets worried over what Andy has to do.

Soon enough, he got posted out and is now working office hours. He must miss all those actions (coz he's got other plans in progress). But he still gets to go on firefighting missions (if he's needed) during his "on-duty" days, and has to be on standby for big events like National Day, F1 race dates, Youth Olympics (just to name a few).

Just this morning, he called to inform me that there had been an earthquake in Christchurch and he was awaiting instructions to be sent there to assist in rescue work. Our parents said he came home in the afternoon to pack and left after a quick early dinner.

He'll be there for a week.

As much as I always complain about last minute work commitments that befalls Mr Liow sometimes, nothing beats this, that he has to leave the country at last minute notice, for a week, to do dangerous stuff.

Saw on the news that one of the after-quake tremors rated 5.7. That's still bad. Imagine rubbles giving way while rescuers are on them or trapped victims becoming even more trapped.

This disaster is more personal, coz Andy is there. While others are evacuated from danger zone, rescuers like him enter the same danger zone.

To think that we were planning for a mahjong session this Sat evening. Guess we'll have to wait for him to come back in a week. Can't wait to hear his stories!

Lord, please protect him and the other rescuers as they search for trapped victims. We pray You'll comfort those waiting to be found, and families of those who did not make it. Please keep tremors mild so they will not affect rescue works. Please help those doing rescue to look into right places. Please bring Andy home safely. In your mighty name we ask of these.

Monday, February 21, 2011

A week later

This is start of the 2nd week of the kids' battle against those viruses.

AN's stools have gone back to normal since 2 days ago. She doesn't look like her cough and runny nose will get better anytime soon but she's not coughing as much now as she did last week. She had also been bleeding from her left nostril randomly since last Thursday. It started off as little as bloodstains from scratches but appeared in quite an alarming amount before nap an hour ago. It dripped right out of her nose! Will get her to stop digging for gold in those nostrils of hers and from blowing mucus out to see if it helps prevent bleeding. Seems like frequent and over aggressive blowing of the nose does bring about nose bleeding according to many sources online.

ER too had caught the bug (thankfully not the diarrhoea!). He slept better on Fri night after a horrendously sleepless Thursday night. Nose was blocked from Saturday night and I've not been sleeping since then. He kept waking up gasping for air and as expected, he couldn't nurse well too.

AN is sleeping with Mr Liow again tonight. Really, better to separate than have them catch it from each other all over again. Please pray for that bleeding nose. It bleeds each time AN blows out mucus. We told her not to but the collected mucus gets so uncomfy she goes blow it when we are not paying attention.

As for ER, we're not using the aircon tonight. His nose was blocked last night and I so wanted to suck those mucus out but they were sort of dry coz of the aircon, so I decided not to. Didn't wanna damage his nose. If he's not breathing easily again tonight, I'll suck those mucus out.

I'm also tired coz I carried ER in my arms so he slept better, whole of last night, after noticing that he got woken up every 30mins to an hour.

Me cranky means I become very very unforgiving towards little things AN did. Little things made me flare up terribly. I refused to look at her or forgive her even after she apologised, worse when she kept blowing her nose and digging into it after repeatedly being reminded not to.

Oh God, I need sleep. I need to sleep to behave like a normal human. I need the kids to recover too. AN's bleeding nose worries me but I had to keep calm and make little fuss of it, coz my parents were already starting to panic when they saw that for the 1st time this afternoon. And the level of discomfort ER's sometimes-leaky-sometimes-blocked nose makes him causes me heartache too. Dr say it may become Bronchitis. Please, God. Don't allow it to get that bad.

I'm going to catch some sleep before ER wakes up in discomfort again.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.6

Friday, February 18, 2011

Our sick ER

He had been whining whole night so each time he whined, I'd try to nurse him. He was not as easily pacified.

Just fed him medicine (3hrs later than it should have been fed because he was under 38°C those few times I took his temp) but I did not suppose all went in. had only night light on and couldn't really see.

He cried for a while as I wiped his body to bring his temperature down. Somehow the wiping tickled him and he started giggling.

So cute. Hehe!

I'm tired but he's keeping me awake with his smiles and coos. He looks so happy and excited now despite running a temperature of 38.3°C again. That's how he's supposed to behave, else it may well be something serious.

He's 'asking' me to stop blogging now to play with him by waving the wet towel I placed in his head and kicking for attention.

My nose is slightly blocked by now as well. My turn soon I think. Pray that I'll not fall very sick. If I have to catch their virus, I pray that I'll only show symptoms after they recover. And Lord, please make them strong so they won't be affected by this same virus again. Please give me powerful mem mem, enough for both to drink and gain antibodies to protect themselves. Please also protect Mr Liow and our parents from its attack.Thank You for making us well each time after falling sick. We pray for relief and that You'll comfort our kids as they fight this naughty thing. In Your mighty name we ask, Amen.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.6

Thursday, February 17, 2011


We're back from seeing Dr Lim. AN is not in more trouble than she is in discomfort.

Dr Lim summarised her condition: Her fever peaked on Sun and she was on her way to recovering from stomach virus. Then, she picked up the cough/runny nose virus on Tues, the only day this week that she went to school. That was when she started coughing and her nose started "running" before her fever came back, 37.8°C at its highest. 2 fevers, 2 viruses, 1 week.

Doctor expects her to recover by Sun. She'll not be going to school tomorrow. Not wise to return the virus back to the classroom.

Like the previous time, we were given a variety of medicines. Dr explained that it's good to have them in stock to provide relief when necessary. For fever, we got 2 bottles (one for normal relief, one for high fever), 2 bottles for runny nose (zrytec that's less drowsy for daytime, and polaramine that will help her sleep better at night), one for cough, one for sore throat if it comes, and more probiotics.

I'm super relieved that AN takes her medicines willingly now! In fact, she seems to look forward to medicine time coz she kept asking if it was time for next dose.

She's also drinking lots of water, which was dosed to be good but...she's drinking too much. I give her water in a 500ml bottle and she's at her 5th refill now! Isn't 2.5l of water in addition to soupy porridge a little too much? Or is that fine coz she's still having diarrhoea?

This time, being sick makes her hungry. She keeps asking for food, most of which are either not available or not advisable. But at least she's eating and interested.

Dr Lim also advised us to keep AN and ER away from each other. AN should recover from this quite easily but if ER catches it from her, he'll get it worse.

Bad news is, as we expected, ER caught it and he started feeling warm after his nap. AN couldn't stop kissing him even when sick. Acts of love can be costly. Sigh..

He measured 38.3°C! Gave him fever medicine and he's now at 37.6°C. He's having runny nose too :(

This is going to be a super busy weekend. The official busy-ness starts today with medicine time (following alarm and schedule), helping AN to toilet coz of frequency of diarrhoea and pee (from the amt of water she drank today) and planning for next dose of medicine to feed them.

Mr Liow will care for AN tonight and me for ER as we did last night. Poor Mr Liow still has to go to work. Praying that he will be strong and not fall sick.

Praying that both kids will recover soon. Pray for me to be careful with the medicines (not to fed wrong med to wrong kid at wrong time). Pray that BM will not mess the house up. I can't do so many things at one go :( Praying for super powers after Mr Liow goes to work tomorrow.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.6

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Poor AN

She had been coughing almost non stop whole of today. Her appetite shrank but surprisingly she still ate. She's also carrying her bottle of honey water around to, asking for more when each time she emptied her bottle.

She's having runny nose now as well. Other than these upsetting and inconvenience behaviours (upsets and inconvenient to her), she actually behaved her usual self.

She's still passing loose stools, almost as explosive as past few days but not as bad. She had it just once yesterday and twice today. Been giving get lactoforte and she's not resisting any dose either. *phew*

That was daytime.

It just got worse after dinner. Her eyes looked puffy and she got really tired. It could be that she was sleepy so I took her into the room earlier. Her temperature is slowly increasing too, from 37°c to 37.8°c half hour ago. She drifted in and out of sleep, waking up in tears complaining of tummyache :( And she kept coughing and threw up once coz of the cough :(

To prevent ER from catching these from her, which I believe he's already caught something (an infant going through these same discomforts will be far worse, for him, and us!), Mr Liow asked me to sleep with ER in our Masterbed room and he'll take care of AN tonight in the kids' room.

I'd been losing my patience many times today coz the cranky and sick princess was more fussy than usual: honey too hot, dun like this bottle, wanting porridge when my dad got her kway tiao soup, whine whine whine. As much as it pains me to see her cringe in pain when tummyache hits her, when she keeps coughing herself awake after finally falling asleep, it is also challenging for me to see it happening as a result of her discomfort.

Really, I must be the worst mum ever :( I remembered feeling very loved when I fell sick as a child. I hope I'm doing enough (I hide to explode, not in front of my poor sick AN). I have to do more than enough! She's already suffering as it is :(

P.s: I can even hear her coughing behind 2 closed doors. Please help keep the kids in prayer ok? Pray for protection and recovery. Amen.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.6

Multitude of viruses?

I know children fall sick easily once they get to school (coz they catch viruses from each other real fast) and now sees for myself how easy.

AN missed school on Mon coz she had fever and diarrhoea. She was better yesterday (except for a little coughing at night while she slept), so off to school she went. By the time we went to my parents' place in the evening, her cough had gotten worse. And she had puffy eyes. Mum said AN wanted to sleep the moment she came back from school and fell asleep in no time. She coughed the whole evening and it was even worse last night! She hardly even had much break from coughing!

She must be real tired, so I thought she might appreciate more rest at home and sms-ed Mr Liow (I slept with the kids and Mr Liow in his own room). I didn't realised that he has stopped setting his own alarm and fell asleep while lying close to my little girl as she requested. Didn't feel at ease when I woke up again at 7.30am. Called Mr Liow and he only woke up when he answered my call.

He just rushed out coz he had to get to Tengah base on time and that's at the other end of Singapore. I felt so sorry. I should have informed him, or woken him at least.

Praying that today will be a gd day. Praying that AN will pass normal stool again and that her cough will go away soon. Saw a note in her school bag informing of 2 HFM cases. Praying that she has not caught it and will not catch it.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.6

Tuesday, February 15, 2011


AN is barely recovering from diarrhoea and tummyache and she's also started coughing last night and blowing mucus into tissue. Her fever has gone down but she doesn't seem to have recovered. She's still at 37°C. Is that fever?

ER is cranky today. We pray he's not infected by her. No diarrhoea, no cough or blocked nose again please :(

It didn't help that Baileys and Maen just can't stop stepping pee all over the floor. I mopped it 3 times today because of the mess. No, it's not because I was too particular. It was like plooping 4 wet paw-sized mops all over the floor. The pee staining just keeps getting worse coz their paw fur is super long now, and absorbent. The floor was wet, with PEE!

3 Times I mopped before leaving for my parents' place for dinner. In merely 3hrs, we returned home to a disgusting house again. Not just pee stains, but a puddle of pee away from the paper that flowed all over the toilet floor along the tile grouting.

And poo. Drips of the softer part of their poop lined the toilet but not on paper. One or maybe even both, scooted on the tiles. I saw 2 trails of poop. No, I didn't inspect the floor but I could see coz they were trails of poo...

It was total chaos. If Mr Liow was not with me, I'm very very sure I'd have lost my sanity tending to a crying baby and preschooler grimacing in pain at her tummy while staring at the mess made in a matter of only 3 hours. Only 3 hours. Do I deserve this sort of mess just to have 3 hours with my parents?

Mr Liow did the cleaning up. He mopped twice, first with dettol and second with just water. I feel like we're living in a waste centre. Never a second of hygiene.

I no longer allow AN to touch BM coz she NEVER remembers to stop putting her hands in her mouth. This finger slurping started only lately...attention seeking? I'm not sure, but no amount of reminding helps. And I freak out when she touches the floor coz I try not to look down now (unless it's the type of mess we had today, I'll not mop the floor), but we all know the bacterias are there! Imagine AN licking up their pee. This is as close as it gets...

This is costing me my sanity. seriously. I don't know when I'll lose it.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.6

Monday, February 14, 2011

Bad mummy

AN needed a drink and woke me up. Got her some water in my own tumbler but she refused to drink from it. She wanted her own bottle which I left in Mr Liow's car. She then asked for water in her bottle with a monkey face (I think I dumped that coz we left it in the car for some time and forgot about it. I expected the bottom of that bottle to have formed slime by the time we remembered).

I got frustrated that she had to make this request at 2.30am when she could have just drank the water from my tumbler and then go back to sleep. Almost wanted to tell her to take or leave it but decided to go see what other bottles she has. I used to leave a bottle of water by her side when she was sick since Tucson but forgot to do it today. Bad mum. :( was glad I didn't make it worse by insisting that she's not getting her own bottle.

I found her one, half expecting her to get upset and refuse it. Sick kids can be as cranky as tired ones. What more she's sick AND tired. But she wasn't upset when I told her the bottle she wanted was no longer around. Instead, she sweetly thanked me and drank the water. I asked if she wanted to finish it and she said she'll drink it slowly through the night. My baby girl...she's better behaved than me.

Hugged her till she fell asleep again. She felt warm :( I still feel bad I forgot to get her water and for wondering aloud why she had to make me look for a water bottle in the middle of the night and my sleep. My heart ached the moment I said those words. They do nothing to make my baby feel better.

Lord, please use me to bring AN back to health and comfort her as much as I can, above and beyond myself. How could I have almost refused to meet such a simple request....please teach me to be sensitive to her needs. Please heal her from whatever it is that has been attacking her system so that she will not fall victim to it again. Please give me power-packed mem mem so that both AN and ER will be able to fight away this naughty bug. Please protect them Lord. Amen!

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.6

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Fever and Diarrhoea

She's displaying similar symptoms to those during her last bout of diarrhoea: fever near 38°c and loose/watery stools. It came as fever this morning without any signs. Then it was diarrhoea halfway through drinking milk for breakfast.

We went out for lunch and she unknowingly stained her panties. She probably passed gas and watery poop leaked.

Her fever remained at 38°c throughout the day and she had another toilet session of loose poop. Like the previous time, she complained of nausea too but thank God she didn't throw up, unlike the last time.

Appetite dipped as expected. She had that wee bit of milk in the morning before it all started, 3 fishballs with some soup and several scoops of porridge for the whole day. I've finally convinced myself that "fluid surpass solid" when AN is unwell.

Praying that she'll be well again tomorrow. Have totally no idea what virus that is to have seemingly hit her twice. Pray that it'll just go away!

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.6

What was I upset about?

He asked me but I didn't know how to put it across. Things just escalated I guess.

We came home, AN was cranky coz it was past her bedtime, and while I wiped ER up before tucking them both in bed, Mr Liow was attending to the cranky AN (helping to make sure her teeth were properly brushed and get her feet washed).

Just when both kids were cleaned, I noticed the towel we use to dry wet surfaces, stink, so I rinsed it. It kept slipping my mind before today and no one will wash it if I do not. It just continues to stink further.

ER started bawling and Mr Liow asked, sounding frustrated (whether or not he meant to sound as such): "What are you doing??"

I was probably over-sensitive but I interpreted the question as: "Why don't you come settle him and leave that towel for later?"

After I was done with that towel (how long can one take to rinse a towel??), I nursed ER and Mr Liow brought AN in. She fell asleep as soon as her face touched her pillow.

By the time ER fell asleep, I thought I could take a quick shower after removing my makeup and contact lens.

Mr Liow was inside the bathroom shitting while waiting for water to fill up the bath tub. Such enjoyment. At that point, I totally felt like a maid.

The whole time I was rushing and he had to rush me further when ER cried. He didn't realise that I probably need some freshening up too after the kids fall asleep. And that I probably mind freshening up in a stinky toilet.....or that I may hope for a quick shower.

From beginning of the day, I started rushing. Rush to make milk for AN, rush to bath them, rush to iron their clothes, rush to makeup, rush to change them, rush to hang clothes up to dry, rush to wash up cups used for breakfast, rush to nurse the crying ER whom, when no one knows how to stop him from crying, will be automatically assumed to be hungry.

Back to the stinky toilet unfit for washing up, my hubby innocently sprayed the toilet with perfume and invited me back in to wash up.

That's how men are: they mean no harm but just because they are not always sensitive enough, friction arises.

And I'm upset because...I think I just envy his freedom when I have to rush, whether weekend or not, public holiday or not.

He fell asleep when I finally found time to watch a movie with him one night but woke up to play games after movie was over. That game went on till few hours before the kids woke up and coz he slept late, he woke late.

He gets to meet guy friends to bond. No kids. He gets to have "company dinners out of obligation". No kids. He gets to watch shows, surf the internet, play games etc, after I and kids leave his side at night. No kids, him. He gets to wake up late on non-working days. No kids.

No wonder some husbands stray. For all the wife does at home, the man starts to lose interest in that disgruntled woman who complains about anything.

This is NOT healthy. So, should I go to work and dump our kids somewhere else so that things will improve? Will it really?

To be fair to the hubby, he does help with the kids when I need to do housework, or when I choose to behave like I can't hear whatever is going on while I stare blankly at the powered on computer screen, or take AN out with him to get lunch etc.

He helps a lot, in fact. He helps clear BM's wastes, download shows to watch with me (if only he can stay awake so we can watch together), take me out as much as he can, sweep and mop the floor so I can hv a break, ..... etc.

After all these tapping on my Android, I realised I am not upset with him. I'm just envious. Do I need to be employed to get some freedom back?

Saturday, February 12, 2011


I do not understand people who ask: "Do you need this?", gets a firm: "No thank you." but still brings those things anyway.

This is the same person who, once upon a time, scolded us for bringing "things we didn't want" (termed dearly as "useless things" by her), to store at her place, insisting she didn't hv room when *drum rolls* 90% of what were in the bag were WHAT SHE WANTED, and the remaining, our ONE wedding album, an album of old Singapore notes and Mr Liow's sword from OCS. Oh, useless stuff huh?

What I'd term "useless" are things like small cushions one dime a dozen, tonnes more of forks and spoons when we have tonnes of our own, bowls and plates and more containers. No, we definitely do NOT need these stuff and I did say so. What are they, useless things, doing at my place?

And its not easy to be nice to someone who once was so selfish during that period when we needed help most. We had no choice when we had to leave then, but she didn't have to do what she chose to do. She chose to put herself through this inconvenience but she gets something out of it. Good for her...

I will not dump those useless things though, no matter how useless they are. Because, at the end of 2 years, we got OUR "useless things" back. So, I'll keep them, useless things well and return them, hopefully 2 years later.

Family is not calculative. But to survive in one that is, one just has to learn, and adapt.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.6

Friday, February 11, 2011

Enjoying School Again

It's Friday again, marking end of another full week of school after a week of holiday before this.

AN is back to enjoying school again.

She had displayed several behaviours through this one month (and couple of weeks), from excitedly waking and enjoying school, to excitedly waking but crying in school, to refusing to get out of bed but is happy in school again.

To help her wake up more happily this week, I carry her to the living room after the alarm goes off so she can wake up less abruptly.

She's also having light breakfast before school (A slice of cheese or milk.)

This is a relatively easier school week. In fact, she seemed happier going to school. Let's hope tis is the last change of behaviour for school.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.6

A smile in the dark

I went back into the room after AN left the house with Mr Liow for school. Room was dark, baby was still. Only when I leaned over to give the little boy a kiss did I realise he was awake. And he was smiling at me.

Sooooo cute.....!

I smiled back and he smiled even wider, waving and kicking excitedly.

This mini Mr Liow is my latest addiction.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.6

Thursday, February 10, 2011

The furkids

Was reading my old posts (those written when AN was ER's current age) and realised I used to enjoy the furkids better then. AN was exposed to them much earlier as well. In fact, at this point, I wonder if ER knew we have 2 four-legged family members roaming around. Maen used to be noisier when AN was little but she's turned quieter now.

With our big sofa before we left for Tucson, AN was always out in the living room. ER is away most days with me at my parents' place now, and even when we are home, ER will be in the room. It's time soon, to place him near the furkids. The new sofa is too small for him to lie on. Floor has too much fur so we most likely won't be placing him in any kiddy seats near ground level..we'll see how we can work things out.

As titled, Baileys and Maen are great at adapting to different environments. They adjusted well to AN the first time (took them a while. Baileys marked the house at different spots during the earlier months then), adjusted well to the new home and hotel stays while we were in USA and did well at both my parents' place and then back to our own place.

With ER now and my sudden obsession over a clean floor, Baileys has also started to watch out for stains. I can't explain how he knew what had been going on but he's gone from walking very near the wall, back to his own bed to lick himself dry and clean before he'd go stepping anywhere else. And if I am anywhere near the toilet when he pees, he will wait for me to approach before he will step out of the toilet. HE expects that when I approach, I'll be wiping his paws dry, in case he steps out with pee-soaked paws.

Just these few days, I noticed him lying inside the pee area, after having carefully selected a dry spot on the papers, just to dry his own paws before leaving.

How does he know???? From the start, Baileys has always been smart and almost human if not for physically taking the form of a canine (he tried jumping at the doorknob to open the door when he was a puppy because he needed to take a leak at that time! Mr Liow and I stared at each other dumbfounded then!)

And now when AN makes me angry, both B and M will instinctively head back to their bed and stay there watching. The moment Maen sees me resting (after housekeeping or disciplining a misbehaving AN), she will approach to lick me and AN, as if to make peace. Baileys knows better than to step on timed mines. Maen cares not for so much though.

As noisy as Maen can be or used to be, she's making less noise now. She would usually bark at noises outside the house but the most she will do now is growl silently. I suppose she's trying to not wake the little human baby up with her barks.

She still walks about with pee-soaked paws after her business in the toilet. She's a 'bimbo with a lozenges on her head'. That little mark on her head is a mark for us to tap on when she needs to be reminded of an appropriate act.

I can tell whose paw prints they belong to from the trails the furkids leave behind after peeing in the toilet. You can too, if you know their character after some time. And given that they are creatures of habits, those paw prints are almost always at the same (almost exact) spots everyday (and I either clean those stains away immediately upon seeing them, or mop them at the end of the day when we come back from my parents' place). Baileys' paw prints stretch from the toilet back to their bed. And since he keeps as close to the wall as he walks, those prints will mostly only be found on the tiles nearest to the wall of our study room. Maen somehow has this habit of running to the kitchen after peeing. Her wet paws prints start from the toilet, towards the dining room (stretches along the dining table), right into the kitchen. And because she doesn't lick herself dry, her wet paws go into the kitchen, out into the living room again and all over the house. One will notice big puddle prints that get 'drier' and 'tinier' as she walks all over the house.

That's when I have to take slow and deep breathes when I see those prints. Just ONE pee time by Maen is enough to deem all efforts on my part to keep the floor clean, futile.

And while the furkids used to enjoy ransacking our stuff in our absence, they no longer do that now. At least they do not do that as often nowadays.

Having been out of home at least 5 of 7 days in a week since start of this year, i've had only 1 case of ransack by the furkids when they emptied the diaper bag of every single content but damaged only 1 facial mask that Shirley and Jing bought for me from their Taiwan trip. They damaged quite a number of AN's toys in Tucson but the number was negligible as compared to the things they would have damaged before the kids came, things not put away, and the extent of damage. If it was in the past, my diaper bag would have been torn into pieces and every item that was previously inside would have either been ingested, or shredded beyond recognition.

The furkids are no long destroyers, and their last few 'glorious' moments, they taught AN to keep her stuff properly, or else in her words: "Baileys and Maen will eat them up!". She still has those chewed up plastic blocks and half eaten plastic chicken and ketchup bottle in her toy kitchen set as a reminder.

Maen is turning 6 years end of this month. They are getting old.

Sometimes I wonder how different life will be without them. Maybe more peaceful, maybe not at all. If not for them, I'd not have come back home everyday after work in the past. I'd have gone out a lot coz Mr Liow used to be even more busy at work. Ridiculously busy. Will we still be married and have kids if I was never home coz he was always working?

I'd probably be out enjoying myself without him and because I can get used to life without him, it will make no sense that we have kids. And I will probably have died from depression taking care of our 1st kid if not for prior training taking care of B and M since their puppyhood days (having gotten used to whining in the night, clearing and smelling waste etc).

The furkids taught me a lot. They helped me get used to a lot of things to prepare me for motherhood. In fact, they were part of the reason our family remains whole and intact.

If there will be no one appropriate to look after the furkids, they will pass on as part of our family. I did mention that I dare not bring this topic up but I can't stop thinking about it. Just like I can't stop wondering which school to enroll AN in, or which doctor to bring ER to if Dr Tan is not around etc. As long as I'm still living, everything in this family will weigh heavily in my heart.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

AN's first time riding the Tower of Terror

She's finally tall enough (weird how Asia rides for kids have stricter rules on height)

When the kids bond

Tuesday, February 8, 2011


AN wet herself in class today. According to her teacher, she was too busy playing and forgot to go to the toilet then.

I wasn't too affected at that time.

It just happened again. She said she needed to pee but let go before she even finished her sentence.

This is the second time it happened today. What's wrong with her?? Each time things like these happen, I feel like a failure.

Did she forget? Was it on purpose? Why didn't I remind her to pee?

I can't stop crying now. Partly coz I'm disappointed that she's still consciously wetting herself at this age when she was already off training pants for naps in Tucson. I'm also crying because I consciously too, tried to make her feel bad when she was happily pretending to be a princess earlier before the accident. My heart ached when her joy and laughter turned into silent fear. I succeeded in making her feel lousy. But I'm not happy!!! Now, what's wrong with me too? I was so upset I pulled a blanket from under her and she toppled over. My heart ached further, but nothing could make me tell her "it's ok. Try to remember next time."

I think there's something wrong with me. The problem doesn't lie with anything else. What is wrong with me?


Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.6

Terrible Two Doesn't Expire

From a stubborn 18mths old toddler who spoke little, to a nearly 4 years old preschooler who wants to make her own decisions, the stubborn trait of a terrible two never left.

It does get better sometimes, with reasoning but it's 'patience-consuming'. When the refusal to obey takes over and no amount of reasoning works, I feel like......I wish I can program her to obey.

On the other hand, the little ER is such a dear. He smiles all the time. Of course, being a baby means he cries too but I'm better equipped at handling cries now. Baby cries are easier to bear with than tantrums at an older age. At least that's how I feel.

For trying days when things just can't go right, his smiles seem to be God's way of giving me peace. Zu An = God's peace.

Many times, I wish I could go back in time when AN was still a little baby. And for the same reason, I wish ER will not grow up. Not too fast, at least.

I don't want AN growing up with the idea that I love ER more. The unfair truth is, because she's our firstborn and we have no prior experience coping with whatever will be coming our way, she'll almost always be the "white mouse". Not because we love her any less, but because she gives us the experience to better deal with how ER will be at each stage of his childhood.

I wonder if ER, being a boy, will be even more stubborn than AN is. ER makes us want a 3rd child coz he's super adorable. Makes me wonder, if he's going to be even more terrible than AN at every stage of his childhood, will we have another?

Must pray, must pray. No matter how they are as children, we pray they will grow up as God-loving and fearing adults.

I'm thankful for blogger. Writing made me feel better.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.6

Monday, February 7, 2011

Our First Loves

Was feeding them a while ago while ER slept. Baileys waited in down position and Maen did her tribal circle dance as usual. To remind her to wait (in down position like Baileys), I gave her a light tap on the 'lozenges' on top of her head.
Now I finally know what that mark on her head is for! Baileys doesn't have one. Go figure.

I can't remember when I last patted them but I did while they ate. That moment, I was overwhelmed by some strange emotions, something familiar.

I love them and its been a long time since I remembered it. Most days lately, I just hate to see pawprints by pee all over and patches of saliva when they lick the floor, less than a day after I got the floor looking shiny and nice, and for the past few weeks, tumbleweeds of fur right after spring cleaning.

Most people spring clean their house once a year. My mum says I do it every week. But no one can tell. Coz the house looks neglected no matter how hard I try.

That moment of stroking them got me thinking: "Do I really wasn't them to go?"

People who do not know us, speaks on behalf of them, saying that they will be happier with us, that I'm a MFB (some swear words that I'm won't explain more abt) who only pretends I love them.

How many human can second-guess the thoughts of another and get it right all the time? And you think you know my furkids better than I do. *applaudes* I don't even know if it'll make them happier somewhere else although I can only second-guess their preference.

The part of me who loves them, says they will be much happier with attention. And because all they get now is instructions to keep off (the floor when it's cleaning time) and keep out (of the rooms). No mental stimulation, no shower of love out even a hint of it. No time (even if I have, I use it elsewhere).

The selfish part of me finds me more time once they are gone. I can do housework once a week and get less tired and cranky coz I've less to do. I feel less stressed up and the human kids get a more smiley mummy. AN will get to do messy art coz I'll have time to clean up after her when I do not have that amount of cleaning up to do elsewhere anymore!

And then I remember how I longed to see them wagging happily each time I return home from work in the past, how I'd hug Baileys before Maen came, praying that he'll live for a long time and die one day before I do so that I can care for him till I die.

This is confusing to people who do not have dogs or only as pets, not family. How many reading this can understand the dilemma? I don't know.

I've been trying to avoid this topic and allowing myself to run on auto mode when situation arises each day. We'll let the Lord decide. Before anything else happens, they badly need a shower. This weekend, hopefully.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.6

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Farewell Festive Fever

This is one fever I'm sure 99.9% of the world will hardly ever mind having. But like most fevers, one just has to recover.

Mr Liow applied to have the whole week off from tomorrow and I was definitely more than happy to hear.

Then bad things have to happen. Something came up at work during the CNY and not only will he not be able to go on leave as expected, he's probably going to be busy. And I wonder, why will there be an important meeting for which his presence is necessary, on Wed, if he knows he's already going on leave for a whole week? Sigh.....

It was time of rest for him while he still could, so I didn't really want to ask him for help with housework over the past few days of rest but I was tired too, with waking up early, sleeping late and having interrupted sleep at night. Plus BM's fur is growing out and they are starting to shed again, it's no longer just stickiness I'm trying to clean away everyday now.

I was tired, and cranky. No matter how hard I work each day, the house will never be good enough.

And to know that he won't be around as he said he would, that wasn't much help.

Every good thing has to come to an end. He said he'll try applying leave for the following week. I'm not going to set my hopes too high. Disappointment is not fun.

I need superhuman strength from tomorrow on, and bad reaction from the disappointment to get lost. Time to get the furkids shaved again. Life is back to what it's always been.

Time to recover from Festive Fever.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.6

Friday, February 4, 2011

Blowing Fire

AN whispered to me: "Gugu is upstairs breathing fire." when BIL happened to be asking around for her.

My SIL was smoking. This is AN's first attempt at giving a subject to the action. Breathing fire sounds cute. Her girls says she's "upstairs, breathing", sometimes "having some fresh air". Sounds cute. Haha!

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.6