Been a little over concerned about weaning AN and we (AN & I) had a big 'fight' this morning, all coz of the weaning issue. She's not ready and I am not too, in fact.
She refused breakfast, totally. Not even a spoonful of cereals. I made her another bowl of milk with Honey Nut Cheerios (one of her favourites) and that too did not interest her.
She wanted 'mem mem' instead.
The voice of the PD rang loud in my ears as I faced the dilemma, whether or not to give, "She gets filled up with breastmilk and has no appetite for anything else."
So, I thought I should be firm and not give in to her. She could cry all she wanted. How long could she cry, right? I thought after an hour or so, maybe when she's tired out from all the crying, she'd feel sleepy and go to sleep by herself.
Wrong.
She cried for 2.5hrs and wasn't ready to stop.
While suffering from the withdrawal syndrome of not having her 'mem mem', she actually started thinking of ways to get what she needed!
She came and kissed me all over (from my lips, to nose, to forehead, ears, chin, cheeks...all over my head) coz I enjoy having her kiss me before I give in to her ever since she learnt how to kiss and learnt the different parts of her face.
No luck with that.
She hugged me and sobbed sadly (she does that when she meant 'sorry', for anything, like making me angry this time?).
Still no luck.
She took me by the hand and walked me to the sofa where she gets her naps. I laid beside her and tried to read her a story which obviously wasn't something she wanted. She continued to cry.
I ignored her (I tried...me also heartache ok?).
She then thought it might make me happy if she packed her toys and while sobbing badly, she went to put all her toys together in a corner.
Still no 'mem mem'.
She started throwing tanthrums by rolling on the floor but that was wrong answer too.
Last thing she did, she took me by the hand and told me 'upstairs'. That's what I'd tell her when it's bedtime at the end of the day. I had no idea what she had in mind so I went upstairs with her.
She then brought me to her bed, laid down and started sobbing desperately.
hee. I thought this girl's rather 'resourceful', given that the PD said her head circumference wasn't growing as 'ideally' according to the chart.
I gave in (it had been 2.5 hrs since she started crying..) and brought her downstairs so that she could rest on the sofa. In less than 5mins, she fell asleep. That was persistent, for 5 mins of comfort, she could beg for 2.5hrs.
While reading advises by mummies who face the same problems with weaning baby in http://www.babycenter.com/toddler , I came across comments about PDs discouraging breastfeeding and mummies being given 'dirty looks' by PDs who saw them breastfeeding beyond a year old.
Was surprised to hear that coz I thought PDs in the States should be rather pro-breastfeeding.
Some mummies decided to allow their child to self-wean (like Clairemummy advised initially when I had thought about weaning AN), and that would be more natural, not to mention less painful for the child.
A mummy's comment caught my attention when she wrote something suggesting that we could only do this (in the case of our discussion about breastfeeding) for as long as 5 years (which is really an exaggeration, I hope). For how long more can our child need us as much as this? When this period passes, what remains will only be memories.
Then I recall AN making funny faces as she nurses and sometimes she smiles at me. Her little fingers start pointing into the air while she mumbles and nurses at the same time and her tapping on my chest affectionately. I like looking into her eyes and that hardly happens besides nursing time coz she's hardly ever still since she started crawling.
So, I guess, it doesn't take much for me to go ahead (and Mr Liow too agrees) with allowing her to self-wean.
As for her appetite, we'll just have to see about that. I think I'd been scaring her off food. The moment she sees me coming with food now, she'll look stressed up and start refusing even before she sees what's in the bowl for her.
And I'd been feeling the stress during each of her meals too coz she rejects food and for the 5 times a day (3 meals, 2 milk/yogurt) that I try, it's a bonus if she could willingly have just 1 meal without me having to coax or distract her.
My worries about her not eating is starting to turn into impatience...
Kindly remember us in prayers too ya? It hurts to think that AN might be frightened of me and sees me coming as an angry mummy each time when there's food in my hands.
She refused breakfast, totally. Not even a spoonful of cereals. I made her another bowl of milk with Honey Nut Cheerios (one of her favourites) and that too did not interest her.
She wanted 'mem mem' instead.
The voice of the PD rang loud in my ears as I faced the dilemma, whether or not to give, "She gets filled up with breastmilk and has no appetite for anything else."
So, I thought I should be firm and not give in to her. She could cry all she wanted. How long could she cry, right? I thought after an hour or so, maybe when she's tired out from all the crying, she'd feel sleepy and go to sleep by herself.
Wrong.
She cried for 2.5hrs and wasn't ready to stop.
While suffering from the withdrawal syndrome of not having her 'mem mem', she actually started thinking of ways to get what she needed!
She came and kissed me all over (from my lips, to nose, to forehead, ears, chin, cheeks...all over my head) coz I enjoy having her kiss me before I give in to her ever since she learnt how to kiss and learnt the different parts of her face.
No luck with that.
She hugged me and sobbed sadly (she does that when she meant 'sorry', for anything, like making me angry this time?).
Still no luck.
She took me by the hand and walked me to the sofa where she gets her naps. I laid beside her and tried to read her a story which obviously wasn't something she wanted. She continued to cry.
I ignored her (I tried...me also heartache ok?).
She then thought it might make me happy if she packed her toys and while sobbing badly, she went to put all her toys together in a corner.
Still no 'mem mem'.
She started throwing tanthrums by rolling on the floor but that was wrong answer too.
Last thing she did, she took me by the hand and told me 'upstairs'. That's what I'd tell her when it's bedtime at the end of the day. I had no idea what she had in mind so I went upstairs with her.
She then brought me to her bed, laid down and started sobbing desperately.
hee. I thought this girl's rather 'resourceful', given that the PD said her head circumference wasn't growing as 'ideally' according to the chart.
I gave in (it had been 2.5 hrs since she started crying..) and brought her downstairs so that she could rest on the sofa. In less than 5mins, she fell asleep. That was persistent, for 5 mins of comfort, she could beg for 2.5hrs.
While reading advises by mummies who face the same problems with weaning baby in http://www.babycenter.com/toddler , I came across comments about PDs discouraging breastfeeding and mummies being given 'dirty looks' by PDs who saw them breastfeeding beyond a year old.
Was surprised to hear that coz I thought PDs in the States should be rather pro-breastfeeding.
Some mummies decided to allow their child to self-wean (like Clairemummy advised initially when I had thought about weaning AN), and that would be more natural, not to mention less painful for the child.
A mummy's comment caught my attention when she wrote something suggesting that we could only do this (in the case of our discussion about breastfeeding) for as long as 5 years (which is really an exaggeration, I hope). For how long more can our child need us as much as this? When this period passes, what remains will only be memories.
Then I recall AN making funny faces as she nurses and sometimes she smiles at me. Her little fingers start pointing into the air while she mumbles and nurses at the same time and her tapping on my chest affectionately. I like looking into her eyes and that hardly happens besides nursing time coz she's hardly ever still since she started crawling.
So, I guess, it doesn't take much for me to go ahead (and Mr Liow too agrees) with allowing her to self-wean.
As for her appetite, we'll just have to see about that. I think I'd been scaring her off food. The moment she sees me coming with food now, she'll look stressed up and start refusing even before she sees what's in the bowl for her.
And I'd been feeling the stress during each of her meals too coz she rejects food and for the 5 times a day (3 meals, 2 milk/yogurt) that I try, it's a bonus if she could willingly have just 1 meal without me having to coax or distract her.
My worries about her not eating is starting to turn into impatience...
Kindly remember us in prayers too ya? It hurts to think that AN might be frightened of me and sees me coming as an angry mummy each time when there's food in my hands.
2 comments:
I came across your blog a while ago and have enjoyed reading about your experiences, especially because I am a mom to a 19 month old girl so we have a lot in common! This post especially hit a nerve, because I am still breastfeeding (the US is not pro-breastfeeding at all, no idea where you got that idea) and have had trouble getting my daughter to eat as well. I just wanted to recommend the book How to Get Your Child to Eat, But Not Too Much. It's by a very well-respected author and the advice sounds like it would work really well for your problem. As far as breastfeeding goes, it's okay to set limits with it at this age. I got down to three times (before bed, when she wakes up, and before her nap) and have just cut out the nap one. I refuse all other requests and tell her when she can. Often it's just a request for some quality time with me, so I try to play with her or read to her and say "not now, not until bed, but we can read a book if you want" and she is usually satisfied with that. Anyway, hope that helps!
Been reading up on breastfeeding since I started and most articles came from US websites I thought the Americans shld be rather pro, or at least more so than Singaporeans. Terribly wrong, I realised.
Will definately check out the book you recommended. Thanks sooo sooo soooo much!
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