Wednesday, January 27, 2010

It's not easy being a child

Among the many crash courses a baby has to learn from birth (for a start, how to even open up a fist), she also has to deal with many changes.

Some changes AN will rather not adapt to, is to outgrow her clothes, and shoes.

She brings us shoes that fit her before winter but when we put it on her now, it is extremely tight.

I open up the door to our 'storeroom' and she sees shoes she wore last year. She wants to try them on but we all know, they are too small now.

And clothes too!

Many of those that used to be long pants/ jeans, they have turned into capris. Thank God AN is a slim baby. She can still put them on and thank God capris are in fashion now. Also, 3/4 sleeves and midriff cardigans are also in, thus AN still gets to put on some of her favourite clothes that are tagged "12-18 months". She frowns whenever I tell her "You are too big to get into these clothes now" but what to do? I try to hide them. oOut of sight, out of mind.

Thank God again, that she can still fit into most of them. That's probably the only good about being a small baby? I want her to wear new clothes though!

We have stocked up on clothings up to age 4 and very very slowly building up her wardrobe for her 5th year. I am in no hurry though, because she will probably put on clothes for 5 years old when she turns 6, maybe even 7 years old.

Each time I put clothes away in boxes according to sizes after a shopping trip, she will be so excited and dig into those that were stored inside, prance around while holding them against herself and tell me: "Mummy, these are my clothes!" Once in a while, she will ask to put them on but most are too large for her now.

She has learnt to accept that some of those that she really liked now but are too big for her, she will have to wait longer before she gets to put them on. So, whenever we sit in the room while I pack new clothes into the boxes, she will take take the opportunity to bring out some favourites to 'try' them on before she gets to wear them, many many years later.

It is not easy being a child. A child has to adapt to new shoes while watching her favourite but outgrowned pair get boxed up and a child has to see new and pretty dresses that belong to her, but that of which she will only get to put on when she has almost forgotten about it.

A child has to seek attention in ways different from independent adults who sometimes mistake the need for attention as tantrums. A petite child has as much need to grow as a plus-sized child but when she has a limited appetite, it's hard. A child derives joy from watching a ball roll off the slide and asks mummy to play with her but mummy does not always have the time to. Joy turns to 'tantrums' when the need is not met.

Many times, I wonder why AN has to make life difficult for me and I feel miserable. Then these reasons surface. Most of all, AN is a child.

If it's this hard for me to adapt, it's very much more possible that AN is having an even harder time adapting to her new and ever-changing world that I am. I need to be a stronger mum so that my baby grow up comfortably. I need no riches, no wealth, and am thankful I am healthy. What I lack now is the strength to face AN's need for me to teach her things. I need strength

Philippians 4:19
And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.

Isaiah 40:31
but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

And no, I am not even facing persecution.

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