Week 28 and already 9kg heavier!

I just saw on my gynae records from Tucson, that I was 45kg (thereabouts) during my first visit. I thought I was heavier (I was 47kg on avg around that time from our scale at home).

We had coffee with the ministry this evening at the airport and we all saw the weighing scale (for luggages), so the kids took turns to weigh themselves. Soon we, the adults couldn't help it but want to see how heavy we are and weighed ourselves too.

AN is 10.9kg. Nearly 11kg but not yet. I am 53.8kg!! Oh my goodness!! If my pre-pregnancy weight was accurately taken for the first time, it means I have put on 9kg!! I was only 50.3kg last month at Dr Henry Cheng's clinic!

9kg at 28th week...I put on a total of 9kg during my first pregnancy. I have about 8-9 more weeks to go! This is not good news! I hope it's all baby's weight and not mine..but then baby should be less than 1kg now...

Pam said it is a good sign. This is a boy, so that probably explains why I'm heavier this time. Come to think of it, I'd rather have a boy with more mass. AN being small at birth (and still petite now) was not too bad, coz she is a girl.

Oh well, I should be thankful that he's healthy and growing well.

Been worried that I may not be as fortunate as I was on the day AN arrived. It was early Sunday morning and traffic was smooth when we had to rush to Mt A. This time being the second, I keep hearing how second and subsequent ones pop too fast for epidural to even be considered, I'm worried I may not survive the labour pains..and I'm worried contractions may start building up fast on the peakest hour of the weekend where CTE will be packed.

So many worries :(

I think I'm feeling one of those pre-natal blues now. I got upset over some issues that wouldn't have bothered me much normally (AN peed in her training pants twice today when she could and would usually have told me when she needed to pee). I would not have made noise about it so I don't make feel lousy. I did just now and kept asking her why she did not tell me she needed to pee..and I made her cry when I finally told her I felt so disappointed with her :(

This is the first accident (not exactly an accident...she was either too sleepy to tell me, or probably already fallen asleep. I don't know coz I was in the toilet when she confessed that she peed in her training pants). Accidents happen. And she did admit that she peed in her training pants instead of keeping mum about it. Why did I still tell her off? I shouldn't even have said anything about feeling disappointed to make her feel sad or lousy :(

Bad mummy...I felt so overcome with guilt I couldn't stop crying after she fell asleep. I really have to watch my words...this is only an accident..why am I saying things that may likely put unnecessary pressure on her??

Bad mummy :(

I pray against foul feelings. Go away, bad behaviour! Shoo shoo shoo away naughty words that will only hurt my baby instead of build her up. Go far far away!!