What was I upset about?

He asked me but I didn't know how to put it across. Things just escalated I guess.

We came home, AN was cranky coz it was past her bedtime, and while I wiped ER up before tucking them both in bed, Mr Liow was attending to the cranky AN (helping to make sure her teeth were properly brushed and get her feet washed).

Just when both kids were cleaned, I noticed the towel we use to dry wet surfaces, stink, so I rinsed it. It kept slipping my mind before today and no one will wash it if I do not. It just continues to stink further.

ER started bawling and Mr Liow asked, sounding frustrated (whether or not he meant to sound as such): "What are you doing??"

I was probably over-sensitive but I interpreted the question as: "Why don't you come settle him and leave that towel for later?"

After I was done with that towel (how long can one take to rinse a towel??), I nursed ER and Mr Liow brought AN in. She fell asleep as soon as her face touched her pillow.

By the time ER fell asleep, I thought I could take a quick shower after removing my makeup and contact lens.

Mr Liow was inside the bathroom shitting while waiting for water to fill up the bath tub. Such enjoyment. At that point, I totally felt like a maid.

The whole time I was rushing and he had to rush me further when ER cried. He didn't realise that I probably need some freshening up too after the kids fall asleep. And that I probably mind freshening up in a stinky toilet.....or that I may hope for a quick shower.

From beginning of the day, I started rushing. Rush to make milk for AN, rush to bath them, rush to iron their clothes, rush to makeup, rush to change them, rush to hang clothes up to dry, rush to wash up cups used for breakfast, rush to nurse the crying ER whom, when no one knows how to stop him from crying, will be automatically assumed to be hungry.

Back to the stinky toilet unfit for washing up, my hubby innocently sprayed the toilet with perfume and invited me back in to wash up.

That's how men are: they mean no harm but just because they are not always sensitive enough, friction arises.

And I'm upset because...I think I just envy his freedom when I have to rush, whether weekend or not, public holiday or not.

He fell asleep when I finally found time to watch a movie with him one night but woke up to play games after movie was over. That game went on till few hours before the kids woke up and coz he slept late, he woke late.

He gets to meet guy friends to bond. No kids. He gets to have "company dinners out of obligation". No kids. He gets to watch shows, surf the internet, play games etc, after I and kids leave his side at night. No kids, him. He gets to wake up late on non-working days. No kids.

No wonder some husbands stray. For all the wife does at home, the man starts to lose interest in that disgruntled woman who complains about anything.

This is NOT healthy. So, should I go to work and dump our kids somewhere else so that things will improve? Will it really?

To be fair to the hubby, he does help with the kids when I need to do housework, or when I choose to behave like I can't hear whatever is going on while I stare blankly at the powered on computer screen, or take AN out with him to get lunch etc.

He helps a lot, in fact. He helps clear BM's wastes, download shows to watch with me (if only he can stay awake so we can watch together), take me out as much as he can, sweep and mop the floor so I can hv a break, ..... etc.

After all these tapping on my Android, I realised I am not upset with him. I'm just envious. Do I need to be employed to get some freedom back?