The bad
Mr Liow came home last evening looking tired and upset. He said he wasn't when I asked. Dinner felt awkward for some reasons. Maybe it was just me.
I'd been thinking. This trip here made our lives rather miserable, in my opinion..His erratic working hours (which I'm now better accustomed to), me hiding in the estate day in and out (and becoming oversensitive), having an increasingly fussy baby who tests my patience every hour of th day, none of this helps make me a better person, if I rely solely on my own strength.
He gets many off days here as compared to back in Singapore. And we get to travel more than we used to. I should, by right, be happy. But I wasn't.
When AN couldn't stop fussing, I'd be wishing there would be someone to help me out. Worse when Mr Liow was so busy I couldn't even get him on his phone when I needed an outlet.
Whenever he was home, we'd naturally be chatting (when he wasn't too overwhelmed by work). And I'm learning to group the colours of the Rubix cube together. Mr Liow has mastered that himself and is teaching me how to do so too.
Maybe coz Mr Liow is smart and learns things fast, he gets impatient when I'm slow. He doesn't do it on purpose, and he doesn't realise it when his tone hurts me. He raises his voice a little when I don't get it no matter how he explains things.
I think I'm a little short of hearing. He gets impatient when he has to repeat himself.
I start forgetting things and he gives me an impatient look that says "again??". Why, he also forgets things but do I ever make it worse for him? To make matters worse for me and better for himself, he tells me that he passed me things which I do not remember if I have indeed taken from him. And then I'll feel useless losing things that I did not lose in the 1st place.
So it all adds up and I get very defensive now, reacting before things even happen.
If I can't hear what he says, I'll not ask again. If I don't understand his instructions, I'll figure out on my own. If I can't find something now, it will appear somehow. I do not need dirty looks like that to find what I lost.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THE GOOD
4 years ago on 18th Dec 2004, we made our marriage vows before the Lord.
I can't remember the words I spoke, but I know I vowed to be submissive. Not as a kow-tow wife, but one who is supportive and able to give wise advises. I've fallen far from it.
My husband is not perfect, like no man is. But he makes effort to make things work.
He held on tightly to our marriage verse (Genesis 2:24)***to appease my fear of having to live under the control of my MIL who may try run our marriage and lives instead of him being the head of OUR household.
***The bible never meant to teach us to get rid of the parents. That we will never do. Dan's layman version helps clarify that when a man gets married, it's like him leaving a former employment to become his own boss.
He knows I love dogs and gave me Baileys. Thereafter, came Maen. Even tho he wasn't too keen on a second dog, he accepted her all the same. He does love Baileys more tho, but that's besides the point.
He knew I'd be happier doing something I liked and supported my decision to leave my job and take up lessons to be a makeup artist.
He doesn't enjoy bathing Baileys & Maen but did so once when I was too pregnant with AN.
He was my support when AN came, doing all the leg work of going around to buy neccessities as and when we realised we needed certain things. He was no less tired than I was, given that he had to settle Baileys & Maen's boarding that very night I was resting in the hospital after AN 'exited'.
I can see him making an effort to return home earlier when AN was into her second month after confinement help left and I was all alone to deal with this new bundle of screaming not-much-joy then.
He helps by taking care of AN whenever he can, and when AN isn't too sleepy to NEED my presence. He even does that after he comes back from work, tired and sleepy.
He'd take me out every weekend (back home) so that I could be away from AN, as a short getaway.
Life in Tucson is different tho.
There's no getting away. There's no one to help with AN and we've nowhere to go. So he starts planning for holidays.
He makes an effort to bring Baileys & Maen to Lambert Park for walks, or at least make plans for it. I can understand that many times when he failed to do so, he was really too tired to go that distance.
I noticed him making efforts to send me sms to inform me that he's on his way home since last week.
He helps me clear messes and puts them away. (But dear, when we can't find things, don't tell me you didn't touch them, coz I MAY not be the last person to touch them too..We are 2 forgetful people living together, please remember)
No matter how nasty-tasting the food I make for him, he eats them without complaining. I do hope to hear sincere feedback instead of "The Nasi Lemak is nice!" or "Chicken Rice is nice!", coz these are made with pre-packed sauces, of course nice lah.
Dear, I appreciate these things you've done for me and know that they have not gone unnoticed. These words shld usually be on our anniversary card but before life gets overwhelming and before I forget everything, I want to put it somewhere friends and family can appreciate your efforts together with me.
Go ahead and excel in your work. I know you will not trade family time for work unless necessary.
Just pray for me that I will cling on to my vow and be answerable to the Lord when time's up.
Love you, laoban.
Mr Liow came home last evening looking tired and upset. He said he wasn't when I asked. Dinner felt awkward for some reasons. Maybe it was just me.
I'd been thinking. This trip here made our lives rather miserable, in my opinion..His erratic working hours (which I'm now better accustomed to), me hiding in the estate day in and out (and becoming oversensitive), having an increasingly fussy baby who tests my patience every hour of th day, none of this helps make me a better person, if I rely solely on my own strength.
He gets many off days here as compared to back in Singapore. And we get to travel more than we used to. I should, by right, be happy. But I wasn't.
When AN couldn't stop fussing, I'd be wishing there would be someone to help me out. Worse when Mr Liow was so busy I couldn't even get him on his phone when I needed an outlet.
Whenever he was home, we'd naturally be chatting (when he wasn't too overwhelmed by work). And I'm learning to group the colours of the Rubix cube together. Mr Liow has mastered that himself and is teaching me how to do so too.
Maybe coz Mr Liow is smart and learns things fast, he gets impatient when I'm slow. He doesn't do it on purpose, and he doesn't realise it when his tone hurts me. He raises his voice a little when I don't get it no matter how he explains things.
I think I'm a little short of hearing. He gets impatient when he has to repeat himself.
I start forgetting things and he gives me an impatient look that says "again??". Why, he also forgets things but do I ever make it worse for him? To make matters worse for me and better for himself, he tells me that he passed me things which I do not remember if I have indeed taken from him. And then I'll feel useless losing things that I did not lose in the 1st place.
So it all adds up and I get very defensive now, reacting before things even happen.
If I can't hear what he says, I'll not ask again. If I don't understand his instructions, I'll figure out on my own. If I can't find something now, it will appear somehow. I do not need dirty looks like that to find what I lost.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THE GOOD
4 years ago on 18th Dec 2004, we made our marriage vows before the Lord.
I can't remember the words I spoke, but I know I vowed to be submissive. Not as a kow-tow wife, but one who is supportive and able to give wise advises. I've fallen far from it.
My husband is not perfect, like no man is. But he makes effort to make things work.
He held on tightly to our marriage verse (Genesis 2:24)***to appease my fear of having to live under the control of my MIL who may try run our marriage and lives instead of him being the head of OUR household.
***The bible never meant to teach us to get rid of the parents. That we will never do. Dan's layman version helps clarify that when a man gets married, it's like him leaving a former employment to become his own boss.
He knows I love dogs and gave me Baileys. Thereafter, came Maen. Even tho he wasn't too keen on a second dog, he accepted her all the same. He does love Baileys more tho, but that's besides the point.
He knew I'd be happier doing something I liked and supported my decision to leave my job and take up lessons to be a makeup artist.
He doesn't enjoy bathing Baileys & Maen but did so once when I was too pregnant with AN.
He was my support when AN came, doing all the leg work of going around to buy neccessities as and when we realised we needed certain things. He was no less tired than I was, given that he had to settle Baileys & Maen's boarding that very night I was resting in the hospital after AN 'exited'.
I can see him making an effort to return home earlier when AN was into her second month after confinement help left and I was all alone to deal with this new bundle of screaming not-much-joy then.
He helps by taking care of AN whenever he can, and when AN isn't too sleepy to NEED my presence. He even does that after he comes back from work, tired and sleepy.
He'd take me out every weekend (back home) so that I could be away from AN, as a short getaway.
Life in Tucson is different tho.
There's no getting away. There's no one to help with AN and we've nowhere to go. So he starts planning for holidays.
He makes an effort to bring Baileys & Maen to Lambert Park for walks, or at least make plans for it. I can understand that many times when he failed to do so, he was really too tired to go that distance.
I noticed him making efforts to send me sms to inform me that he's on his way home since last week.
He helps me clear messes and puts them away. (But dear, when we can't find things, don't tell me you didn't touch them, coz I MAY not be the last person to touch them too..We are 2 forgetful people living together, please remember)
No matter how nasty-tasting the food I make for him, he eats them without complaining. I do hope to hear sincere feedback instead of "The Nasi Lemak is nice!" or "Chicken Rice is nice!", coz these are made with pre-packed sauces, of course nice lah.
Dear, I appreciate these things you've done for me and know that they have not gone unnoticed. These words shld usually be on our anniversary card but before life gets overwhelming and before I forget everything, I want to put it somewhere friends and family can appreciate your efforts together with me.
Go ahead and excel in your work. I know you will not trade family time for work unless necessary.
Just pray for me that I will cling on to my vow and be answerable to the Lord when time's up.
Love you, laoban.
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