Mum just took AN out. AN wanted to follow her so I let her go. I do not feel good about letting AN go with mum this time unlike any other times. Mum had been behaving wierd the past 2 days. She went out early, came home real late and refused to speak to anyone, including AN. AN called her many many times and she refused to even look at the little girl and even when she did, she GLARED at AN!! That was after I call out loudly to her (giving her the benefit of doubt that she didn't hear AN calling out to her) before she would turn in AN's direction but she would not respond to AN's questions or attempts to hug her. The only time mum spoke to me yesterday, it was to tell me off for trying to 'meddle in her affairs'. That was her respond to my questions: "Mum, have you eaten?"
I got super pissed off and replied her in a less than respectful tone that I was just asking and being concerned and that everyone in the family didn't have to bear with her nonsense but everyone did. Dad didn't even dare to make much noise at night when she locked herself in the room in case she was sleeping and she's a super light sleeper who is unable to sleep unless it's totally quiet, which is impossible in a HDB flat with so many neighbours and now a 3 year old...Dad kept reminding AN not to speak too loudly so that mum can rest well. See how sweet my dad is to her??? I don't understand my mum's negativity towards my father at all, not a single bit..
It all started with that little disagreement 2 days ago and she behaved like everyone in the family (every single one of us, even my brother who wasn't even home when it happened) offended her since then.
She finally opened up this morning and started talking to me and AN (not with my dad though, and both Mr Liow and bro are at work so I don't know if she will talk to them later on in the evening). She was preparing to leave the house to meet my aunt and AN wanted to follow her. I couldn't say no. If AN can open my mum up, I'm more than willing to let AN do it.
But I'm worried that the reason my mum got so upset, wasn't simply because of the arguement. I was worried mum could be suffering from some old people illness that I'm not aware of and now feeling jittery that she will lose AN (forget that she brought AN out), or suddenly feel enraged over the arguement 2 days ago and come back without AN to spite us. Trust me, if you have seen her behaviour the last 2 days, you will be worrying about this same thing as i'm worried about now.
I don't know why my mum has turned into such a scary person but she has. My brother said it's normal she flies into a temper over simple issues (like him not being able to take her to the temple even though it was near his workplace because time was running tight for him and she only told him at the last minute she needed a ride from him etc) and she will remain angry (bang the doors whenever she's home, glare at whoever's home, refuse to speak and stays out the whole day till late into the night) for the few days after.
I wonder if I'm putting AN's life in danger by allowing her to go out with my mum without me following them now. Am I doing the wrong thing by allowing my daughter to maintain peace in the family? I'm feeling more and more like I just sent AN onto the sacrifice altar now as I'm typing. Maybe I should have waited till mum's cooled off more before I allow AN to go out with her. She could still be VERY angry since I just told her off yesterday for not appreciating everyone's concern.
Oh no....I just don't feel right...I feel like crying now... :( I am going to give mum a call now and pretend to ask if AN's behaving....Stupid me....why did I allow her to bring AN out alone????
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