My obssession over AN's eating habit

Just watch Mr Liow take AN off to school. The day didn't start right.

AN did not eat the WHOLE time she was at school yesterday. I did not insist she drink her milk yesterday in the morning because it was early and she was not used to having anything this early (6.40am). But she not only refused cake (she didn't even take a crumb of it!), she refused her lunch in school as well. And she was so tired she fell asleep on the way out for lunch and slept till 4pm.

We fed her some noodles after she woke up and she ate a little before telling me she had enough.

ENOUGH?? Not a single bit of food and after a few strands, she had enough?

My blood started boiling. I tried keeping it down and she managed to eat more with some chatting and jokes. I don't know if she really enjoys watching me blow but it seems she is more likely to do stuff, just to watch my reaction..

She didn't finish her noodles but it was better than none. By then it was 5pm.

All she had for dinner was a cup of milk and a few bits of ONE tiny McWing for supper. That was a mini sized portion of noodles, a cup of milk (200mls) and bites of chicken for the whole day. It's probably something another kid has for one meal...

I made her milk this morning again. This can not go on...She couldn't finish it as usual and seeing how she takes a sip and starts to freeze on the spot made me upset again. It took her 15mins, to drink 50mls of milk. 50 mls!!!!!! She's drinking like a NEWBORN!!

She's 12 kg now, on good days. On days she eats like a mouse, her weight drops. I have no idea how to relax. She's not growing....She's still fitting into clothes of a 2 years old and she's turning 4years old in April. She's half the size she's supposed to be! Can someone please tell me they know another living and healthy preschooler who is 4 years old but is as light and small as a 2 years old?

But no matter how angry I get, if she's not eating, she will not be. I have to understand that when one has no urge to eat, one just CANNOT eat.

And then the issue of anger comes in. I have to learn to manage my anger. More often than comfortable, my anger overwrites my logical reasoning. I get angry, AN feels my anger. But things do not move the direction it is supposed to, even with all these negative energy.

I did a search (now that AN is away at school and ER is sleeping) and found some pointers on managing anger that I'll try when my blood starts boiling the next time:
1. Take deep breathes and remind myself to relax
2. Excuse myself if necessary
3. Think about the problem, work out several possible reactions and choose one that will hurt AN least (or not at all if possible)


I did 'kill' the anger before it started yesterday in the morning when AN refused milk and when she couldn't finish her super late lunch. I can do it again! The evil voice tells me: "But if she doesn't eat, she will not grow. She's eaten nothing the whole half of the day!" I can reply that if I do not display anger, at the very least, I will be less likely to deal with another issue as a result of my display of anger: AN's anger management.

I don't want AN to grow up learning to be angry, learning to display anger like I am. And I realise I'm starting to behave increasingly like someone I hate to behave like in this area of anger...this is really bad influence. I'm using words and behaving nonsensical like her...I'm just stopping short of spouting words like "stupid" and "idiot".. (by the way, this same person thinks it's good training for the kids to be called "stupid" and "idiot". What nonsense?? Will I become like that in future?? PLEASE, NO!!!)

I have to manage my anger before I become like that, before I lose my senses and think it's even right to start physically or verbally abusing the little one I love. This anger thing has to stop.