Countdown: 6 days
Part 1:
We were at the topic of "marriage" on the level that AN understood and it made me tear a little to think of the day she will fall in love, get married and have her own kids and leave me. It touches me to think of that day but I know it will be hard for me to let her go.
Our conversation went like this:
AN: "Mummy, the baby in my tummy is getting bigger." (She likes to pretend that she too has a baby in her belly sometimes.)
Me:" You will have a baby when you grow up in future and get married. Not now because you are still little. But you have a baby doll, just not in your tummy."
AN: "Mummy, I will get married with you."
Me: "You will have to marry a boy. Mummy cannot marry you. See, mummy married papa and gave birth to you. And you will have to leave mummy and papa."
AN: " Then I also marry papa and the 3 of us will be together."
Me: "No, when you grow up, you will fall in love and marry the man you love, and by the grace of God, that man will also love God. Then you will marry in church and papa will walk you down the aisle."
AN: "I want mummy to walk with me."
I was starting to chock on my emotions by then. U never know how fast time can pass till it really is gone..
Me: "If mummy is still alive by then, I will do your makeup and hairstyling. Papa has to walk you down the aisle and send you away."
AN: "I don't want to go away.. I want to be with mummy.."
I was reminded of that first night after our church wedding. I cried the whole night coz I missed my parents. My mum too, cried the whole night. Who knows, I probably had a conversation like this with my mum when I was really really young too.
Part 2: Diapers
We received 3 pieces of diapers as sample from an online purchase and for the past 2 nights, AN was in diapers instead of training pants. Tonight's the last remaining piece and I reminded her that there will be no more diapers from tomorrow. She wanted to be in diapers like a baby (she had been asking to be treated like a baby lately, and speaking like one..)
Me: "Babies wear diapers. AN is a big girl and big girls wear training pants at night."
AN: "Adrielle is a baby!"
Me: "Adrielle is a big sister now and will help mummy change baby's diapers when baby comes. You will grow very very old and you can wear diapers when you are very very old."
AN: "Then mummy put on diapers for me?"
Me: "Mummy will be in heaven when you are very very old. Your children or grandchildren will help you change."
AN: "Cannot! Nobody can see my bottom! Why you want to go to heaven??"
Another topic that made me feel like crying. I can't be with her forever but I hope I can, for as long as possible, at least till she no longer needs me. Am I dying? Hehe. All these emotions again.
We were at the topic of "marriage" on the level that AN understood and it made me tear a little to think of the day she will fall in love, get married and have her own kids and leave me. It touches me to think of that day but I know it will be hard for me to let her go.
Our conversation went like this:
AN: "Mummy, the baby in my tummy is getting bigger." (She likes to pretend that she too has a baby in her belly sometimes.)
Me:" You will have a baby when you grow up in future and get married. Not now because you are still little. But you have a baby doll, just not in your tummy."
AN: "Mummy, I will get married with you."
Me: "You will have to marry a boy. Mummy cannot marry you. See, mummy married papa and gave birth to you. And you will have to leave mummy and papa."
AN: " Then I also marry papa and the 3 of us will be together."
Me: "No, when you grow up, you will fall in love and marry the man you love, and by the grace of God, that man will also love God. Then you will marry in church and papa will walk you down the aisle."
AN: "I want mummy to walk with me."
I was starting to chock on my emotions by then. U never know how fast time can pass till it really is gone..
Me: "If mummy is still alive by then, I will do your makeup and hairstyling. Papa has to walk you down the aisle and send you away."
AN: "I don't want to go away.. I want to be with mummy.."
I was reminded of that first night after our church wedding. I cried the whole night coz I missed my parents. My mum too, cried the whole night. Who knows, I probably had a conversation like this with my mum when I was really really young too.
Part 2: Diapers
We received 3 pieces of diapers as sample from an online purchase and for the past 2 nights, AN was in diapers instead of training pants. Tonight's the last remaining piece and I reminded her that there will be no more diapers from tomorrow. She wanted to be in diapers like a baby (she had been asking to be treated like a baby lately, and speaking like one..)
Me: "Babies wear diapers. AN is a big girl and big girls wear training pants at night."
AN: "Adrielle is a baby!"
Me: "Adrielle is a big sister now and will help mummy change baby's diapers when baby comes. You will grow very very old and you can wear diapers when you are very very old."
AN: "Then mummy put on diapers for me?"
Me: "Mummy will be in heaven when you are very very old. Your children or grandchildren will help you change."
AN: "Cannot! Nobody can see my bottom! Why you want to go to heaven??"
Another topic that made me feel like crying. I can't be with her forever but I hope I can, for as long as possible, at least till she no longer needs me. Am I dying? Hehe. All these emotions again.
1 comment:
aiyo...i love ur conversations with An...she's so innocent and hahah, sweet!!
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