Day 17:

I tried coaxing AN to sleep on her own last night without nursing. She did not cry for hours like the last time I tried to wean her, but it was not easy at all. She tossed and turned and was an angry little girl. She pleaded with me for jus 10 secs more, and another 10 scs more. She ended up with 10 secs for the first time and then asked to have bread with peanut butter, at midnight.

I gave her a slice and she knew she will have to sleep by herself again once she finished, so she asked for 'gummy bears' (her vits). She cried when I insisted gummies are for daytime and kept nagging for "mem mem". I gave her 10 secs on each side and refused to give in to more pleas after that.

She finally fell asleep at 1+ am after sobbing. The night wasn't peaceful. She kept having bad dreams and crying in her sleep saying: "I don't want to sleep by myself..." and she would kick the air in defiance.

When she nursed, nights were usually peaceful. She didn't wake up so often and even if she did, she would fall back into a deep sleep after I unlatched her over few seconds of suckling.

The violent kicking was frankly quite irritating. She whined and kicked but her eyes were shut. It's hard for her to kick this habit of nursing to sleep and I hope she will get used to it soon.

Was just telling Mr Liow that I've heard of many kids who dislike the taste of colostrum and self weans. AN is exactly the opposite! She seems even happier that there's colostrum now

-______-"

For the whole night, she got minimum suckling (I still gave..cold turkey felt a little cruel for a 3 yr old child).

Come to think of it, I am quite glad she tries to cooperate. She's been swallowing her Klacid since yesterday morning even though she nags about its yuckiness. For her latest dose (this morning), she did not cry and stuggled only very little, then she opened her mouth for Klacid, swallowed it, sipped water and finished the rest of the 3 mls before gulping water to clear the taste. Was so proud of her. I'm sure it tastes disgusting because it wasn't totally liquid. There were undissolved granules in thick white paste-like liquid. One can easily gag on a texture like that..

It's naptime now. She refused to sleep and I thought she wasn't tired. I was wrong. When she finally turned to tell me that she IS sleepy, her eyes were lifeless (hehe). She pleaded: "But mummy, I don't want to sleep by myself..." So, she was not refusing sleep because she was not sleepy. She was trying to delay the unpleasant 'no-more-mem-mem' rest. Poor baby...I gave in and made her promise that she will try to sleep without 'mem mem' tonight.

Oh yes, while sitting with AN just now, I saw my furkids playing. Seems like soooooo long ago that I last watched them play. It still makes me smile watching Maen raise her butt and Baileys dashing towards her to push her over. They end up smelling each other for a while, gave a couple of licks on each other's mouths and noses and continue running towards and from each other.

They make me happy. They really do. I have neglected them so much but they patiently wait. Every tiny bit of attention we give them seems to make them sooo happy. This is unconditional attention and love.. I wish I have more time for them but with the coming new baby, they will probably have to wait another year for me again, before they can have more of my attention. Meanwhile, I pray that AN will be a good elder sister to her little brother, and a good told model for her little brother to learn the right way to play with BM without hurting them. I pray BM will enjoy even more attention with more kids now, and that this new found attention will not cause them their lives. Hehe.