Missing Tucson

People had been asking us if we missed USA. I thought I did not (but I do miss the friends we made there.) I had been enjoying local food back home and been too busy with AN and the baby bump (that's been causing me constant backaches and breathing problems), plus some admin matters that I've yet to settle (get my new IC done, top up my HPS premium which us already expired etc..).

Now being sleepless, I'm starting to miss more than just people.

I missed bringing AN to Gymboree to meet her friends. I missed watching her climb, dance, sing, paint, tear, paste and make messes without a care. I missed driving her around and missed having a mix of routine including play and 'studies'.

I missed driving her to get food for BM, missed bringing BM to Lambert Park, missed driving AN to Isabelle's place where AN gets so much attention from Kimberly who loves her so much (Isabelle said Kim unbashfully proclaimed that her she cannot live without AN. So cute. Haha!).

I missed the occassional potluck gatherings, especially during cooler seasons. I missed being able to promise AN a swim if she behaves, miss watching her enjoying herself in the pool (she didn't even want to stay in the pool at SIL's plc 2 wks back).

I missed looking out of our patio to see people casually walking their dogs, missed bringing AN for strolls in the evenings when Mr Liow was on afternoon shifts. Missed AN waving at neighbours who waved back with a smile, missed the very spacious everything, the mountains, the cactuses, the moon that's almost always visible, the feeling of carefreeness that borders along the line of boredom sometimes (being busy with only AN and BM, and cooking).

I don't quite miss travelling or online shopping as much as I thought I will. I did enjoy doing these but think we had an overdose of both for 2 years. It's those things I missed about Tucson that one can probably never get sick of.

Here, AN attempts to wave at drivers who either never notice her waving, thinks she's not waving at them, or simply can't be bothered to wave back. Waving and smiling at strangers simply do not belong in our Singaporean culture. AN will often tell me:"Mummy, they never wave back." Someday, she will lose the urge to be friendly (wonder if it's good or bad). She's still shy when strangers approach her though. As long as there's a certain distance, AN is a friendly stranger. Hehe.

She misses her painting sessions at home. And since we came back, she's not been practising writing, not been cutting random magazines, not been drawing. We didn't have the tools (they are all in the boxes) and we didn't have the routine to do them anymore. I don't even know how we go through each day now, with AN not doing much.

I think I now know why AN's behaving the way she had sometimes: a bored kid is an upset kid. She starts to demand for things at the wrong time because she doesn't know what to expect next and has nothing to do...and when rejected, she gets upset of course. Back in Tucson, she knows where to find her stuff and knows what she's allowed to do what at stipulated times of the day.

I finally see the importance of a routine that those books keep talking about when it comes to disciplining children.

I really should start getting her into a routine of something again, real soon!