I was given a $25 Gymbucks that takes that amount off minimum of $50 spending and saw a few dresses that looked sooo adorable!
Took me too long to decide and most of them were snatched up by the time I decided to get her those. So, we were left with only 2 dresses, a skirt and a pair of sandals that was her size (she fits clothings for 18-24mths and the dresses are still too big for her. She's so super petite I should have bought her dresses in 12-18mths instead).
This yellow dress looked cuter in the website than in real but I like how the colours go with each other. hee
And I love AN in this!! This green dress is sooooooooooo sweet!
There's a pink butterfly on her left shoulder. hee.
AN's shoes (and the white sandals that's came with her latest loot). She's outgrown her boots in a matter of 4 months during the cooler weather and soon outgrowing the brown pair of Mary Janes! Fast right?
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Sweet looking dresses
Independance Rox!
Neigi was right.
It is good that I learn to drive and if possible GET to drive so I do not rely so much on the presence of Mr Liow.
I used to agree with a friend who noted that in some cases when a wife drives, husband and wife may not be together as much as before, and some husbands take it as an excuse not to keep wife company.
"You can get ard on ur own and are going shopping anyway. I go for what?"
For some time I feared that, but independance really feels good. So good that even though Mr Liow had been away for almost 2 weeks, it did not affect me much. In fact I was glad I only had to prepare simple meals for myself and baby instead of spending half a day to prepare food and then cook.
It definitely feels better than pining for his return everyday and getting upset over the thousand and one "no choice" things that happens which are more important than family.
I can grocery shop on my own now, bring AN to classes and for checkups, BM to grooming, wherever I dare to venture.
I probably overrated 'togetherness' in the past.
Would be even better if I am financially independant.
Powderful baby
She appeared to be smiling at 1:43 & 2:41 coz she was imitating me when I put on blusher. hehe. Apply blusher on apples of cheek.
Snapshots of the vain little thing
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Progressive.com
I call at 8.04am to ask if I might be able to get help for the keys I left in the car and was politely assured that a lockout falls under Roadside Assistance which is covered in the policy.
My call was transferred to another department where I got help from another very helpful lady who was sympathetic and prompt in verifying my details.
She said she'd arrange with the lockout department to get someone to me and I would receive an automated call soon.
Less than 5 mins after we ended the call, I got the automated call with information about who's coming and what time.
I then received a call from another lady from a certain company (contractor I guess), who was on her way to give me help, to confirm that she was on her way and would reach in 45 mins.
Just a while ago, I received another automated call to confirm that help is on its way and will be reaching me in the next 15 mins. It also said I will be receiving another call at the end to confirm I got the help I need.
WOW!
Let me update about the full service once the whole episode is over. hehe!
Updated 5.11pm:
Unlocking service is on average. Grumpy looking service staff who's not from progressive anyway. Grumpy looking service staff quite a norm here I noticed, so it no longer bothers me unless they are rude.
It was such a breeze to dig into a car! Now I know how to do it. Probably I should stock up on car breaking-in tools. hehe.
And the alarm did come off after the door was opened without the remote. I was surprised he didn't seem to know how to turn the alarm off without the use of the key and left the alarm to sound till I squirmed into the back seat where the keys were.
So yup, we're mobile again!
AN can continue to look forward to enjoying herself at Gymboree!
LOCKOUT Assistance
Our Auto insurance covers a lockout and someone's coming to help me get my keys out!!!!
YAHOO!!!!!!
Emotions
No wonder my temper flew that easily last week. That was due to impending visit from an uninvited guest.
This week is so different. I have an impossible amount of patience with AN. I had been overtaken by this super mummy instinct that I've never experienced before this.
Watching AN continuously repeating scenes from classes made me feel so sad that if she understands disappointment, she's going to hate my absent-mindedness.
The wonders and horrors hormones do to and in a woman and everyone around her.
Stranded!!!!
I locked my car keys in the car....
There is story telling tomorrow, Art on Thursday, Music on Friday and Playgym on Saturday.
Was just telling AN what to expect on our way hm from a friend's plc just nw. I was excited too about having somewhere to go till Mr Liow comes hm on Saturday nite. Now we'll both be stuck at home *tears at hair thinking about the boredom of being stuck at home for the next 4 days!*
Ah girl if u r reading tis, pls dun tell the folks what I did. Gu zhang had been nagging about me remembering my keys and I kept assuring him I won't forget...
Dunno why I'd been feeling distracted whole of today.
I had to keep talking aloud to myself and AN to make sure I don't daydream while driving just now and it took me a while to process my thoughts where to turn (and dangerously drove on the wrong side of the road which thankfully was right outside a residential estate and had no cars coming in.)
Think I need suppplements to boost my short term memory and concentration...
On a side note, AN was very well behaved today at friend's place. Very quiet tho. She's quite sweet in that she would hug my friend and her mum goodbye when we were leaving.
It's been increasingly enjoyable driving her around. She's either good chatting company, or will quietly munch on her biscuits till we reach. Else she just goes to sleep. To think I was contemplating bringing her shopping one of these days....
WAILS....
Does anyone know how to break into a car?
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Haha! Funny baby.
She was using so much strength and concentrating so hard.
All of a sudden she burped and then casually confessed loudly "BURP!"
That was a funny moment coz in the first place if she needed to pass gas, I thought the gas should exit from her bottom instead.
Her nonchalant confession made me laugh and seeing that I was laughing at her, she went on to force air out again and this time she passed gas from her bottom.
And then she went "MUMMY! Poot!"
Laugh until I go weak.
No need to pang sai today already. After the big laugh we had, I'm sure whatever sai that's on its way out had just gone back home.
Recent pictures
Very free now, coz AN is finally in dreamland.
Here are some photos taken over the past week. It might not be long before there will be no more pictures, coz AN spoilt our camera and my K850i is showing signs of giving up too (the camera function still appears to be good... *cross my fingers and prays it doesn't die till we get back to Singapore).
Ordered diapers online and it arrived in this big box which has become AN's new hideout.
Thank God I have a spare pair of glasses....And AN had the courage to admit to me last Saturday evening, "Mummy, I spoil glasses."
Took AN grocery shopping last Friday and asked for her opinion on which type of fish to get.
Me: "Baby, which is nicer? Salmon or Tilapia? Fish finger or fish fillet or beer battered?"
AN: "This one."
Me tried to see which one she was pointing at and realised she was pointing to shrimps.
Me: "But mummy wants fish" and went on to take out 2 shortlisted selection from freezer to make it easier for AN to choose.
AN insisted: "No no no! This one."
So I got both.
I have to remember to take pictures of the different seasons here in Tucson. Even the tree in our patio goes through 4 makeovers a year! The last I remembered, its leaves looked dry and brownish. All of a sudden there are beautiful pink flowers!
And lastly, the very reason why I gave up weaning AN off my breast even though it disgusts some to hear that AN at 24 months still latches on:
AN's good behaviour today and AN learns
We were at Gymboree for free playgym and AN went around playing as usual. Not only did she enjoy herself as always, she went around passing toys to the crawling babies and sharing toys with whoever wanted anything from her hands.
She would patiently wait for crawling babies to clear her path before she dashed to get to her destination or climb up the slide.
AN prefers to climb around instead of sit and participate in certain group activities sometimes but she participated in all of those group games today.
When it was time for stamps towards the end, she went to join the queue and was patient as usual. Some kids cut into her queue but she didn't seem to mind, so much so that a lady who was with a baby also waiting for stamps, after AN, praised AN for being this patient. Come to think of it, as much as I think AN inherited impatience from us, she's still patient for a toddler.
AN went directly for her shoes after she got what she wanted without me having to remind her that it's time to go. I strapped her in the car seat and she quietly told me "Mummy, I sleepy". I melted at her soft voice and sleepy eyes and was so proud of her for not behaving cranky like she used to whenever she's tired. Told her we'd go home and then go to sleep, to which she replied tiredly "ok."
Once back home, she helped me pull her pillow, and mine, into place on the sofa and then laid there patiently waiting for me to put my things away before I lie down with her.
My darling...
For the past 1 year and 2 days since we came, we've not seen ants.
True! No ants! There are ants outside but we don't really bother about them much and there weren't really too many of them to be of any concern. And they never stepped into the house.
So when I had to teach AN "A for Ants", she only knew how they look like in drawings and never in real.
It was good opportunity for her to learn about ants today coz THERE. WERE. LOTS. OF. ANTS. IN. THE. KITCHEN!
I went "eeks" and "yucks"! while AN watched on with interest. I squished those crawling in the house and sprayed poison outside where there were even more ants lurking. I wondered where these ants came from and have totally no idea how they got in!!
After the fight, AN became my ant detector, pointing to those loner ants and informing me "mummy ants!".
AN is now so caught up with this new insect that she keeps going "Mummy ANTS!" whether she was in the midst of play, or simply suckling herself to nap
-________-"
AN learnt to speak simple Mandarin while my parents were here and even learnt to communicate with them in Chinese towards the end of the last week before they left.
She'd tell my mum "Wo Yao" (I want) whenver she wanted something.
Once she tried to tell my mum that the water in her cup was hot.
AN: "Popo, water hot"
My mum: "huh? Hot?"
The water wasn't hot. AN was just hoping that by saying the water was hot, she didn't need to drink any.
AN: "Hot, popo. Water hot."
Mum: "Huh? Hot? Water no hot."
AN: "Water, Shao Shao" (Shao = Hot in Chinese).
She's been telling me things that happened to her, referring to herself as "I" for the past 2 over week.
"Mummy, I fall" (AN fell)
"Mummy, I sleepy" (AN feels sleepy)
"Mummy, I eat" (AN wants to eat)
While in the kitchen a while ago, I heard her cries for help: "Falling! Help! Mummy I falling!".
I thought she fell but when I looked, she was indeed FALLING. She was hanging on to the side of the sofa for dear life while shouting for help. hehe.
Monday, April 27, 2009
Friendster no more already
I'm officially unable to log in to Friendster. They say my log in name and password do not match (even though I've not changed anything except that the stupid msn email is no longer in use and I can't update that in Friendster).
Friendster has always been problem-ful.
This is going to mark the end of our relationship.
Yes, unsolved issues = termination of relationship.
Simple logic that applies EVERYWHERE.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
While the babies sleep
So many posts I've made today, all because AN & BM are sleeping soundly. AN is a light sleeper and gets woken up by a light sweep of either B or M's tail against anything...-________-"
Not only do I get to blog today, I get to check out specktra.com and I'm hooked again.
My "MAC blushers" craze did not survive the winter, thankfully so but with the spare time during AN's nap now (and me willingly putting myself through temptations), I'm back again.
I either drive down to La Encantada with AN, get the blushers from the store fast and get home, or do it online.
What should I do leh? hehe. Some are from future collections...Maybe I should wait till those I want are out and order them online all at the same time...
It's Officially ONE YEAR
I reached Tucson at about 4pm (3 plus) Tucson Time (which is 15 hours behind Singapore's time) with Adrielle and Maen this day last year.
Time flies.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
I miss Vivo City
erm...
I continue to wonder why and start finding myself missing Tampines Mall too, and Compasspoint, and Hougang Mall, and Marina Square, Suntec Orchard Rd....
Basically I miss shopping in Singapore.
It's Gymboree again later. Yeah! Better than nothing ;p
Random photo updates of AN & her activities
To lighten things up (I know you guys don't know how to respond to my seemingly non-ending anger), here are some really random pictures.
I can't be angry forever. I mean I can, but I'm not angry at any of you so I'm going to stop toturing all of you who love and care for me.
Thanks guys, for all the concerns and to those who dropped me messages here in my chatbox and emails, I really appreciate the extra efforts in keeping me going.
So ya, here goes:
It's been like Christmas for the past 3 mths with Popo as Santa Claus.
First it was a microphone that records and playbacks with music (let me find it..it's somewhere), then the 'band' set. AN loves playing with these in music classes so popo decided to get her these.
Then Play Doh for her birthday (besides those clothes)
The Wednesday before Easter Day, we went to the library as usual for story telling and there was a special gift for the toddlers! A bunny bag!
And an Easter egg! It's an ordinary egg and a plastic wrap that fitted loosely around the egg. There was a queue for some reasons after the kids were given the bag and egg and their choice of the plastic wrap. I almost left with AN till my dad advised me to queue and said the other kids' eggs looked different from AN's. True enough, I think the librarians on duty had to shrink the wrap around the egg so it fitted nicely, like it looked below!
I'm glad my mum's not a hairstylist *phew*
That day AN did not refuse to put on a hat.
Oh, there! AN and the microphone I was talking about.
Before we got AN the table, she only had this container to write and draw on.
AN and her Pooh Bear!
AN feeling happy with her b'day goodies
Our first Wednesday without gong gong around. And the first time AN decided to move on front to listen to Ms Julie's story telling!
My mum's simple way of saying thanks to us for taking good care of them. There's a card too. hehe. Where's the picture I took of it????
AN has a table, finally! Cute? It's Noah's Ark (table) with 4 pairs of animals (4 chairs) out of which we decided not to assemble 2 chairs coz we do not need 4 chairs and we also fear having to disassemble all of them next year.
Mr Liow put the table together, me did the walrus and my mum did the crocodile.
With a new table, AN can draw on it, roll dough on it, read and even take her meals from it.
This table set is perfect for her coz she loves crawling through tunnels and hiding under tables lately. She has her own ark to hide in now. Got holes for her to see if the water has gone down or not somemore. hehe.AN at 24 months
Let me see...
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She forms 3-word sentences and is once in a while coming up with 4 words now. I am able to understand what she wants or is saying most of the times (else she has her way of telling me, so communications wise isn't much of an issue between us). Problem comes only when she's not in the right mood. At times like that, she prefers to whine or scream and that's when discipline comes in.
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It's hard not to get angry at her and I admit I lose temper most of the times (not surprising given I'm not a very patient person by nature as well). I'm exploring other ways of discipline and am currently trying "Time Out".
It's been in effect for the past 4 days and she's starting to understand when I start counting down as a warning before I put her away should she decide not to obey or stop her nonsense. It's been good so far for me too. Prior to using time out, I'd feel my blood boil and shoot up into my head. There are times I feel myself really going crazy when she goes out of control. Time out is good in that I can avoid exploding and she gets the drift. She'll cry, scream and quieten down before I bring her out to explain to her a second time why she gets put away. Time out also gives me time to cool off.
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With regards to her eating habits, I'd like to think she's improving. She's still a small eater and doesn't really enjoy eating but at least she eats and once in a while she'll finish her food. She's still picky and given choices in the same meal, she will pick food she likes and proceed to try the next type of food in the same bowl only after she finishes the first that she liked.
She still prefers to eat off my bowl even if we are eating the same stuff (except that hers has that extra tablespoon of Olive Oil to fatten her up. I'm not evil ok? That was as advised by her doctor ;p)
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As for her pooping, she's starting pooping every 3-4days since she started drinking prune juice. Stools are hard on some days, ok on others. It's been more frequent this week (no more prune juice tho. I didn't top up supplies after she finished the 1st bottle and moreover she seemed to have lost interest). She's pooped every alternate days since last Saturday and on both Wednesday and yesterday. Hope it continues to be this regular. Been giving her brown rice and brown rice pasta as staples (done different ways) and she seems to eat more of these than other stuff.
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Adrielle is really quiet in classes and doesn't speak (I can't remember if she ever made a single noise before today..) There was once she would rather sign "Thank You" to Ms Erin than express it verbally. I think Ms Erin thinks AN can't speak. hehe. So, this morning in music class when she passed the microphone around like she does every week and AN finally whispered something really soft into it (after more than a month!), Ms Erin got really excited (Ms Erin's so cute. hehe). AN ran back to give me a big hug after she whispered into the mic too (shy at her first attempt and I believe, proud that she finally dared to do it). It felt nice to have my baby run back to me shyly. :)
Music classes are always fun and I think AN adores Ms Erin. She will stay close beside Ms Erin and imitate her, even at home! AN will make use of whatever stuff we have at home and use them like Ms Erin uses them in school. Nice to see AN improvising with existing materials from home as substitutions.
She's not very excited about pasting and drawing in class tho. Given a choice, she would rather go play with the container filled with soapy water or dig into the sand box. One thing I noticed tho, is that after having tried painting once, she started painting on the mirror with her toothbrush every morning and night. It's going to be very messy but maybe it's time I let allow her to start painting?? hmm... Let me think about it first. She already has crayons and magic markers (that are basically colourless on anything else other than the magic papers)..but she seems to enjoy painting... *considers hard*
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AN enjoys re-enacting past events or warn me using words I'd usually use, like "No climb, fall, pain pain how?", or "Mummy scratch here, bleed." etc. She'll tell me how she fell of the chair a couple of days back, how her play-doh has dried up and gone all crumbly, how things have affected her, in really simple words. *heartwarming* She goes on to 'mother' Baileys and Maen, telling them what they can do and snatching from them their bones which she is convinced should only be given to them when we leave the house (I don't know why she thinks that).
And she'll share food with BM (I try my best not to let them happen but I can't be around to stop that 100% of the time). I've caught her coaxing Maen to lick yogurt off her spoon and then put the same spoon into her mouth (after 2 years of being in the same family, I think she's long immuned to whatever you guys are thinking about now. hehe). I even overhear her praising Maen "Good girl" and after Maen licked that off, AN continued to ask "Good? Nice? YES! Want more?"
*faint*
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Oh, not to forget to mention her new bad habit of chewing things till they are tasteless and then spitting them out.
THIS GETS ON MY NERVES A LOT! I'd step on things she spat out anywhere I go and IT'S ALL CARPETTED HERE! I kept telling her to tell me if she needs to push food out of her mouth but she kept doing it when I'm not looking. There are food pieces all over the carpet, on her clothes, on the sofa.....*faint*
So blood boils, I'll scream at her (poor AN), she'll get frightened but still does it anyway.
This afternoon after she had enough of cheese for snack and decided to get rid of those she didn't want to swallow, I saw her attempting to spit it into her bowl. I think she gets what I mean, finally *phew* So proud of her attempt (even tho some bits and pieces fell out of the bowl but it didn't matter).
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I thought I had nothing much to write about AN. I was so wrong :p
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
AN's Birthday Party (12th April 2009)
Our efforts in putting together some pictures & AN's art works over the past few weeks (with most completed by mummy instead of the birthday girl) and a simple birthday banner for the party.
I had Shirley to remind and help me take pictures of us with my family last year during AN's birthday and this year, without her reminder, we actually forgot to have my parents take pictures with AN.
Mum specifically planned to be around while AN turns two years old and I had to forget them.
It's over but more birthdays for them to spend with AN in the years ahead.
AN's cake. It was Pooh Bear last year too!
AN blowing out her candle (in the shape of Pooh too)
Birthday girl helping mummy cut her cake
Potential son in law? I may not live long enough to see AN get married anyway.
Us with the birthday girl
The children
Her gifts (erm...some are out of the picture. hehe, how skillful my mum is!)
Happily posing with presents on Wednesday (15th April, actual day)
Enjoying new toys (and new top from popo)
That's about all the photos we have.
AN dropped our camera and spoilt it few days prior to the party. So, too bad. Thank God popo had her camera ready for those precious few shots attached.
Monday, April 20, 2009
Overweight with things that do not belong to my parents.
If I hadn't asked, my parents would have kept quiet about it.
The last time one person went home with 3 exploding bags, they were ready to pay for excess baggage.
Not this time. My parents are labourers, carrying things for other people's friends.
Sick.
I really need prayers.
This growing hatred for one person and how the other person is dealing with that sickening behaviour (or rather, encouraging) of that one person I hate is killing me.
Nothing's helping me get over it (best thing is, everything else just adds up to justify that this hatred).
Please pray I will not allow my emotions to get to AN.
As for that hatred. oh well. Let it be. I can't be bothered to deal with that. Like I've been convinced, some people deserve nothing.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Aftermath
I'm experiencing separation anxiety now.
Everything reminds me of my parents.
I opened up the fridge and saw boxes. Mum had chopped up vegetables and put them in boxes so that I need not do any food preparation before I start cooking. There weren't only vegetables. There was a container full of chopped up garlic and defrosted crab stick & fish cake so that I need not wait for them to defrost. She kept all unnecessary utensils so that I need not do more packing up after they leave. Whatever she could have done, she did. Even the vanity top, sink and toilet bowl in their room is spic and span. No traces of debris on the carpet as well. Way way wayyyyy cleaner than it was when they first stepped in. They also washed the covers and put them back so the covers are also clean.
Decided to take AN to Gymboree afterall. I had been crying whole night (I really miss them. No joke.) and haven't slept a single bit. Was wondering if I'd look too ghastly by 10am. Didn't want to scare toddlers with how I might look. Seemed fine the last I checked myself in the mirror, so off we went.
The journey to and fro, too, reminded me of my parents. I'd usually drop mum at Walmart and papa would follow us to Gymboree. We would then go back for mum after each session later.
It was wierd having no one to chat with me on the way to Gymboree today (except AN and she was busy munching on popcorns..) I had no one to remind me not to follow the car in front too closely, no one to tell me I could go ahead and drive out when the road got less busy. No one to keep reminding me to top up my fuel tank.
I'd usually see papa walking around outside Gymboree (it's cool lately. Guess he liked the cool breeze) or seated at a corner watching AN do her stuff. He wasn't with me today but I seemed to see him where he usually would be, from the corner of my eye.
AN gets Gymbo stamps on her hands, feet and tummy at the end of the sessions and she would excitedly run to 'gong gong' to show off her stamps. There was no one for her to show off her stamps today.
She's been such a darling through this "I miss my parents" sobbing episodes since last evening. She was tired and would usually be cranky by bed time. I was still chatting with my parents in their room. For a short while she was making a fuss out of everything, till she saw I was crying too and then tried to comfort me by distracting me with baby-talk stories. She decided to inform me "mummy cry, mummy kok pain pain, mummy cry" when I didn't seem to be able to stop sobbing.
At Gymboree this mornig, she automatically went for her shoes the minute I told her "let's go" . She's improved a lot since the 1st time we started. Most times now she would willingly walk with me back to the car without screaming and crying like she used to (*phew*). Today was exception in that I did not have to repeat myself a few times (at other times, I had to offer her an extra minute or two before asking her again to leave and she would, if she promises. Else another minute or two before she relents). Today, she responded immediately and even tried to put her shoes on by herself while I was putting my own shoes on!
On the way back, again, I missed hearing my father nag about keeping my eyes on the road (he doesn't like me to look back at AN, even if we're stopped at red lights), missed hearing him ask if I need to top up my fuel tank, missed hearing him discuss AN's stamps with her while I drove.
And I need not drop by Walmart to pick my mum up.
It all felt soooo wierd. How can 3 months pass so fast?
They called a while ago and said a last goodbye before they left from LA. A pity AN was sleeping. She didn't get to say goodbye to my parents.
She didn't seem to realise they've gone home. It was as if she thought they were having a stroll outside.
She would walk past their room and tell me "gong gong outside", or go into the kitchen and call out for "popo". When she got no answer, she looked at me puzzled and asked me "popo where? Upstairs?"
Like the last time Mr Liow went to Wallaby, even a strand of hair reminded me of my parents. sigh...
What can be worse? That Mr Liow too, will be away for a 2 weeks exercise from tomorrow morning.
I'll be left alone with AN to miss my parents and Mr Liow all at once.
Bad timing.
I looked out of the patio and got reminded about my mum again. Mum had been sweeping both our patios clean.
Saw the iEcology pail in the kitchen and got reminded about my papa who kept reminding me to bring the pail in after a day else it gets really dusty placed outside for too long.
:(
Saturday, April 18, 2009
I miss them
It hurts me to realise I actually forgot to have my parents take a picture with Adrielle on her birthday.
I am going to need a long time to get used to not seeing and hearing my parents everyday from now till next year.
I miss them so terribly it hurts.
Bye papa, mum!
This marks the end of my parents' 3 months stay with us.
I'm missing them already.
There had been good and bad times for the past 3 months. We laugh over some jokes, argue over some matters, and then make up. It's been a long time since we had a relationship like we used to have.
Only difference is, I did not ensure their stay was as happy as they tried assuring me it's been. If only I could be more partial or respectful most of the times, they could have been happier.
End of the day, I'm disappointed with the way many situations turned out.
I can only say, I love my parents and am very very thankful that they've been doing their very best to ensure I need not have a hard time being sandwiched.
Our home has never been cleaner than now (or dirtier than it was in December. Face the fact.)
I feel really compelled to make a list of a hundred and one things that I've not been happy about or make comparisons between Mr Liow's mum's stay and my parents (I will but it will not be posted). I've been held bondage to this anger and it just keeps increasing whenever I recall the unfair distribution of respect. Things that can go wrong, will somehow go wrong.
Like Jonah, it's not easy believing someone actually deserved to be shown kindness of any sort, or be forgiveness, worse when that person just can't stop aking advantage of the kindess of others without even acknowledging that being a problem. I can't forget and I can't forgive. And I get increasingly angry with that disgusting behaviour. Worse when anyone who CAN put a stop to that disgusting behaviour, is encouraging it. This hurts.
I can't read minds but sometimes when people change, you notice it better in the company of others.
Mr Liow did his best to provide financially for my parents while they were with us and bring them around. For that, I am grateful.
As for other matters, the heart keeps dying over and over again...
I can't wait for be back in Singapore. I think this place is cursed.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Blessed birthday Adrielle
I can't believe my baby girl is TWO!
Mr Liow and I recalled how we had hell of a night the very first time AN came home with us one fine night......
That first night together, She WOULDN'T sleep, so we COULDN'T sleep. She would wake up every half an hour from the time we brought her into the room with us at 10pm, till the sky turned bright the next morning. This 2.325kg doll-sized infant took up 75% of the bed while Mr Liow and I had only enough space to lie on our side. I was aching 'down there' and all over as I tried the whole night to latch her on so that she could suckle.
*phew*...The worst is over, or is it??
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To my baby girl (if blogger.com doesn't close down by the time you are old enough to understand better), mummy promises to read this, and subsequent birthday posts to you:
Before we know it, you are already two years old.
From a little bundle of life that knows nothing except to sleep, eat and poop (and you need considerable practise in latching onto mummy when we first started), you have grown into something bigger.
Now that you sleep less, eat less and poop less, Mummy appreciates the times when I need not worry about your pooping, eating and sleeping.
You were once an infant who would coo and go cross-eyed at objects placed too close in front of you, wave in the air to music from toys above you and try grabbing them. It was like a while ago when we still had the luxury of laying you down, back onto our laps and you would fit nicely. hehe.
You were at your cutest (in mummy's opinion) when you were about 6 months old. Papa was away at Wallaby for exercise for those 2 months of you being at your cutest but thank God for technology, he was able to watch you grow from the webcam each night.
In those 2 months, you learnt to sit steadily, laugh contagiously and flip through the electronic storybook that also sings to you with each button you press. You caught your finger in between those plastic pages and learnt how not to repeat the same mistake again to save yourself the pain. You had those favourite buttons that made you giggle soooo adorably that you kept pressing them over and over again. That seemed to mark the beginning of your growing intelligence.
Soon, you refused to be changed out of soiled diapers coz you wanted to push yourself up from lying down. And then you started rocking on four paws, move to a crawl (a few bumps here and there), stand with help...blah blah blah...suddenly you started walking!
From excitedly listing out words that you can say, to not being able to do that anymore coz the list got too long, from noting down things you learn to do each day, to you progressing and learning faster than mummy has time to log into blogger to post your achievements, I can't help but thank God for making you my baby.
I remember how you used to laugh, chuckle, cry and blabber at different stages of your life and am thankful too for having the opportunity to learn every new thing that you would teach mummy.
Mummy's probably one of the most impatient, least knowledgable, laziest, lousiest mummy one will ever hope NOT to have but God must have His purpose in putting us together, right? He loves you too much to make me your mummy so that you suffer.
It will never be my intention to hurt you, both emotionally and mentally but I have caused you much tears for not being able to see you more as a toddler. Mummy promises to try my very very best to guide you in patience ok?
There's so much I love about you, my baby.
I love your giggles, love joining you in your imaginative play, love nursing you still (hack the pressures to wean you...go ahead and nurse for as long as you want to ok?), love you signing "I love you" to me, love hearing you tell mummy enthusiastically "YES!" when mummy asks if you love me, love watching you help mummy around the house and putting things back where they belong without me having to even ask, love you having your own way of playing with Play-Doh, love you insisting on helping mummy feed Baileys & Maen, even love how you snatch their bones in the midst of them savouring their treats just so you can have them run after you.
Memories of those times mummy got all flared up and upset with you seemed to fade into nothingness as I make this list of the many things mummy loves about you.
It's amazing how you seemed to be expecting a birthday celebration when you started sticking crayons into your Play-Dohs and clapping for yourself 2 weeks back. Since the little sparrow told you about your secret celebration, we started practising how you could sit back and stare at your cake while everyone else sing you your birthday song, and then you practised blowing out your candle.
It was pure joy seeing you enjoy being the centre of attention and blowing out your own candle. It was pure joy watching you share toys with other kids and giving guests hugs when they were leaving. You were superbly adorable when you started posing with the little finger into your cheek at cameras flashing at you.
It is an indescribable joy watching you develope, every baby steps you take to becoming a civilised human!
Mummy forgot to write you a letter last year (we were all too busy with packing and dumping stuff then..*scary*), thus a long one this year.
We love you, baby. We pray the Lord will watch over you every single second of the day, that you will grow up loved and loving. We pray that you will be spared of every wants, that your needs will always be met.
Blessed second year of life, baby.
Saturday, April 4, 2009
AN is down
...with either allergy or cold. Seems like a cold tho. Praying that she will recover soonest possible.
It's so interesting to find medications for kids that come in all forms while searching online to get AN something to help her feel better.
I've found medication strips that need only to be placed on the children's tongue and they dissolve upon contact with saliva.
And there are 'cold teas' made from peppermint specially for children down with cold. There are medicines that come individually packed in syringes for convenience (feed and dump the syringe).
It's not easy finding medicines for toddlers under 2 years of age and even if there are, AN doesn't meet the weight requirements of a 2 year old. Seems she's still in the 'infant' category, weight-wise.
Am still looking to stock up some remedies for her (those which indicated suitability for under kids 2 years are mostly natural remedies, and all the better in my opinion).
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
I love my parents
And that'll be the end to my 3 months of freedom.
I've not only enjoyed so much free time with mum around, I've also learnt so much from her!
She persisted in putting AN on the toilet bowl and was the one who started to sit AN there each time she started straining to poop. Tough as constipation may be on AN, gravity did help whenever she pooped sitting instead of lying down.
It wasn't easy getting myself to believe what mum says most times coz she believes in many hearsays which are based on seemingly nothing logical and then there'll be times she'll gently prove me wrong. I love my mum for not shaming me whenever I'm proven wrong by her.
Mum's done so much for us during this period and endured so much nonsenses quietly. I've taken all these to heart.
I now know that I can make fun of my elder if I ask and I need not be respectful if I don't feel like it. No it definitely wasn't my mum who taught me that. I learn this from observing how my parents bore with our nonsenses during these months. They deserve MORE respect than some other people but got less than that. I may sound spiteful saying this but I have decided to give respect ONLY to people deserving it.
I've never realized my parents are as sua ku as they are. Then it was me who has advanced. I started off feeling ashamed of my parents' behaviours when they first came. I no longer am now. I should be if my parents are selfish but they are so NOT! They are exactly how they appear to be, unlike some people we know, who hide their ugliness beneath a branded front and I wonder why still receive more respect than my parents do.
No more monkeys jumping on MY bed.
