Warning: Drool alert

I told Mr Liow I had cravings for Rojak right before he left San Diego last week and my sweet hubby started sourcing (asking around) for help on how to make them.

Then the very next day, we went to get the necessary ingredients and viola! He made Rojak for me!

We made it almost since Wed and even for the gathering on Saturday. Practise really makes perfect. The ones he last made on Saturday tasted the best (to me, at least).

Rojak, by my ever improving chef who can make all sorts of hawker food now after a couple of trials each time!

Happy AN and I

Buy and buy (and pray we have enough boxes!)

For the remaining 1.5 months left in Tucson, I can't help it but worry that if I do not buy what I've been wanting to buy, I will regret it later on when we go back to Singapore. So poor Mr Liow has to keep the bank filled with money so that I can buy and buy. Thanks dear, I promise I'll be back to my normal self when we go back to Singapore.

Have used the EPO shampoo and conditioner samples on Baileys (not Maen yet. She's still waiting for her bath. hehe) and verdict is (after 1.5 weeks): This is the best!! I can't remember how well Aloveen worked on BM except that they didn't scratch very badly and they smell lovely after baths and can continue to smell lovely for the whole week, sometimes more.

This one smells fresh in the bathroom but its smell doesn't linger in the house for as long BUT BUT BUT, after 1.5 weeks, Baileys still looked clean and neat and nice (and doesn't stink...but they do not usually stink after just 1 wk if I did not recall wrongly)!!!

Oh my goodness....so, if it is already costlier than most reputable shampoo/conditioner here in USA, it will cost us a bomb if we get them back in Singapore, right? So Mr Liow allowed me to stock up 1 gallon of shampoo and conditioner each. hehe. Thanks Mr Liow.

Check this out: www.iodogs.com (their sales department informed me that we have them at PLC in Singapore too. hehe.)

Also, remember Baileys and Maen had this elevated bed for more than a year? The canvas cover is now flaking at the bottom (all thanks to Maen's constant scratching and the dry weather I believe). Mr Liow asked me to get another cover but the cover alone costs USD$44.95 (cheapest I can find and it's not available easily anymore!!) I shld have gotten more covers when I got the bed then. I cannot justify spending almost $45 (which is abt S$60) on a canvas sheet and it was only USD$14.99 then when it was available at petedge...stupid me to not stock up..

BUT then again, just nice, an online store was having 10% off $75 and I happened to see a sofabed for doggies at $79.99 with free shipping. Again, Mr Liow said ok (not very enthusiastically though), so I got it for them. Another $30 for a solid frame, a sofabed and design. Cool? hehe. Dog in picture not included.
And then I got my makeup traincase. Been searching for one that is light. The aluminum ones are really nice and very much cheaper...I don't know which ones to get and time is running out (for free shipping. Shipping charges can kill, especially for heavy and bulky items like these!), and aluminum ones seem to be more easily available, should I need them in future...so kind Mr Liow again (without much enthusiasm) agreed to this investment of mine.

I feel so sinful for spending so much. Sorry dear, and thanks so much for sponsoring me, Baileys and Maen, and AN, and you have not even gotten much for youself :(

Video Updates

Been uploading very few videos of AN because I had no time to convert them. They are in .mov format and agrees with neither blogger or youtube, so I have to convert them.

Finally managed to have some of them converted to .mpg and uploaded in youtube, so here is AN and some of her daily activities:

This is of AN dancing to her favourite Hongkong Drama Theme Song while snacking on a sweetcorn. She can even 'sing' some parts of the song (inaccurately though).


The Rocker Girl in Training


AN trying to 'fish' for the first time


Few days later after more practising, AN learnt that it pays to be patient


AN in one of her sweetest moods gets more time outside running in a nice weather


AN galloping on a horse...maybe not. It's a duck! How imaginative can a bored 3 year old be?


AN Dancing to Jonah (from Veggietales)

I am Shrek

AN stuck the Q-tip into her ear and said just that: "Mummy, I'm Shrek!"

My Darlings Baileys and Maen

Nonchalance
Old dogs can be good at ignoring.

Maen is so used to having the iRobot irritating her daily that she will stubbornly refuse to move away, even when the iRobot physically sweeps her sides. She will only walk away with contempt in her eyes at the robot when it persists in sucking her into its system.

Baileys is still bothered by its presence more or less. He gives way as it approaches but makes no fuss about it.


Grooming
Baileys got his bath last week while Maen seemed to be awaiting her turn. The moment Baileys got the go-ahead to jump out of the bathtub, Maen got all excited and half-stood against the tub wagging in anticipation and all ready to jump in.

We went downstairs to dry Baileys up, cleaned his ears and cut his nails. All the while, Maen watched excitedly. The moment I was done with Baileys, Maen moved over to his place right in front of me and sat there smiling at me. hehe. So cute.

I usually start grooming Maen first because she's always ready and seated right in front of me the moment I sit down with the grooming tools ready. She doesn't really enjoy being brushed at her butt but will offer everywhere else for me to brush.

And each time after I finish with Baileys, she will automatically return for another round of brushing.

So cute la. hehe.


Smartness and Obedience
Baileys on the other hand is less 'cute', so to speak BUT he uses his brains, something Maen hardly seems to be using. He knows exactly what is right and wrong, which of us (between Mr Liow and I) is more lenient and will step right up to the edge of the boundary each of us set.

He knows never to step into the rooms when Mr Liow is at home. Unless Mr Liow allows, he will not even appear upstairs at all. He does follow AN and I upstairs when Mr Liow is away but stays outside the rooms, until we disappear into the bathrooms.

When he senses that it's time for a bath, he will stay run away but returns when he hears me getting impatient and will grudgingly follow me into the bathroom. Each time Maen walks in front of him, he will allow her to take over, seemingly hoping my attention will shift to Maen instead.

Once upon a time, Maen would comfortably chew on her bones when we leave the house while Baileys pranced around. Now, Baileys will be the one comfortably chewing on his bone while Maen howls for us to return. The good thing about staying where we are now is, we can walk over to them from outside the house and give them the 'finger' and stare. Maen shuts up the moment she sees us.

Baileys is the only one who will greet us with something in his mouth whenever we return home. Sometimes he ends up with something in his mouth that does NOT belong to him. You'll hear Mr Liow breath heavily to calm down when he sees that but I think that is very sweet of Baileys. Adrielle will not be too pleased when what he has in his mouth belongs to her. hahah! That teaches her never to leave her things all over the house and it's way more effective than nagging at her everyday to pack her stuff neatly after using them.

Oh, and because Baileys is tall and smart enough, he's almost always the 'scavenger'. He's pulled my coach bag off the table many times, just to take the food out from inside. This boy recognises which bag holds snacks (those that I bring out for AN) and he's had his fair share of bak kua and biscuits. They almost had chocolates but we came home in time (THANK GOD!) and they had none. Remember when Baileys managed to break into their treat cabinet and had greenies buffet more than once?

Maen will not hesitate to try break out of the kitchen by pushing her body against the baby gate. She escapes when the baby gate is not locked but Baileys will never follow behind her, unless the gate does not spring back. Even when I hold the gate and allow them to come out, he will not step out until I either nod my head and give a smile, or tell him to 'come'.

They are now 5 years old and soon after number 2 human puppy pops, Baileys will be 6 years. I don't know how much more time we have with each other but I pray again that they will never need to suffer pain, ever.

Adrielle Update

After updating about the little one inside, let me update little one outside with (finally) pictures.

This is a very poorly taken picture (by yours truly, but she was swaying to a song, thus the blur face) of AN trying to show me her 'pregnant' tummy after I've taken pictures of my own -_____-" Pregnant, no. Skinny, yes.

More cheeky shots





AN's new hobby: Photography


The boxes came in before we left for Florida. And they also brought us this giant roll of 130ft of giant bubble wrap. Wooooow.....

Mr Liow got me a cake for my birthday but AN was blissfully unaware that the birthday song was not sung for her. We did sing it another time for her (since it was almost her birthday then). The number 3 is the first number of my 2 digit age, and her age this year. That's why she thinks the cake was for her. hehe.

Weather has turned warmer, but still cool enough for a nice walk. Flowers are blooming, so AN went out equipped with her new tool to capture the beauty of Spring!

I received my brush apron in the mail, but AN had to inspect it first.
"Mummy, can I have this instead?"

And she was checking to see if the slots fit her colored pencils better than it should fit my brushes..

Pregnancy Update

I'm now in my 17th week and have since put on almost 4 kg (from my usual pre-pregnancy weight) but only about 1 kg (from my last weight BEFORE I was pregnant. I put on 3 kg during that period before I got pregnant, remember?)

I'm still feeling sleepy and easily out of breath. The tummy seems to have BLOOMED over the 2 weeks during Mr Liow's absence. I think I must have happily overeaten now that the appetite is back. The last time I saw my gyne, she said my weight gain was good. I hope it still is.

My tummy @ 11th weeks (supposedly nothing much so whatever bulge was my own fats to begin with but I was not putting on much weight then due to lack of appetite)




My tummy at 14th weeks (during Mr Liow's absence and the return of my appetite)


Here's AN helping to capture my tummy from a different angle
My tummy at 17th weeks (It's so much bigger than when I had AN! I feel so fat...and breathless all the time :(..... )



The little one has been bumping around once in a while since a few days ago. AN made her presence felt when she was about 20th week, this one at 17th week. It does not feel very obvious, and does not show when I feel it moving, but this time I am more sure it's fetal movements instead of gas than I did the first time. It's still very gentle bumps, almost negligible unless I'm still or trying to feel it.

I am not feeling as good as I did with my first time, even with makeup and all (but it does help a little, knowing I do not look as dead as I feel).

Will be having the ultrasound in 2 weeks, and another blood test for down syndrome 2 days after that. Should be able to tell if this is a boy or girl by then. Am still hoping for a girl but whatever the Lord gives, we will be thankful.

AN is helping me apply moisturiser/ stretchmark cream on my tummy as often as we remember. It's necessary to apply them this time coz this time, the tummy really feels bigger! It's already so big at 17th weeks....how large will I be in my 3rd trimester?? And this time, risk of stretchmarks will be much much higher..uh-oh..

Oh, I think I've also stopped producing milk for AN. She says she's drinking whenever I ask but I express and nothing comes out now. Also, my breasts have gone back to their pre-pregnancy size even though I had been nursing AN all these time but I feel them firming up again since the start of my 2nd trimester. I think milk's coming back again. There's still nothing when I tried expressing (and AN still insists she's still getting milk) but I can feel it's becoming more like it did when in my 3rd trimester during my 1st pregnancy.

Gathering

It's been a few days since I last posted anything. The last I did, we were eagerly awaiting Mr Liow's homecoming. Time sure pass fast and it's been 5 days since he got back. Mr Liow had been so sweet as to remember that I told before he left San Diego for Tucson, that I had cravings for Rojak and he started asking around for rojak recipe. The next day after he got home, we went shopping for shrimp paste, pineapple, cucumber, youtiao and tao pok (the main ingredients for rojak, although there are many other variations with bean sprout, green apples, turnip etc). And then in the evening, we tried making it. Tasted a little wierd on our first attempt but Mr Liow continued to fine-tune it for the next few days and then we had a last minute invitation to a mini gathering which we always ended up only buying drinks instead of bringing food (coz I suck at cooking, and Mr Liow couldn't cook then).

This time, we had something to contribute and by Friday evening, we think we almost had it as identical to those back home. It's obvious we are not boasting of hawker standard but it felt right enough to present it to the others.

Saturday came and we had a good time at Ronald's home like we always did whenever there were gatherings. AN always enjoys herself with the jie jies. Danielle (Ronald's younger girl) found AN behaving a little differently this time, "older already" (in her words). Just months back, AN would allow her to carry her around or tickle her. This time, she had a mind of her own and if she didn't want to be carried, she would let the older girls know. I think Danielle missed the 'younger' AN. Kimberly said AN is like a doll coz she's small and light (sounds like AN is 'portable'. hehe. And I think the older girls like it that they can carry her around). Still, even though AN didn't want to be carried, she would still hang around them.

I sure appreciate the freedom of not having her hanging onto me all the time. I have lots of people telling me that she will be like a superglue now that I'm pregnant. Months ago, she didn't behave extremely needy but she is starting to prove the auntie right as time pass. She HAS to have me LOOK at her dance, eat, sing, paint and whatever, regardless of whether I am busy with anything else. Even when I was cooking or washing up, she would demand that I stop doing everything to join her, or watch her. For being overly insistent (to be precise, for shouting at me and commanding me to "COME HERE NOW!"), she gets punished (either a scolding or time out, depending on severity of offence).

So, anyway, the kids had good fun, the ladies had good fun (playing mahjong), the guys too had good fun (playing poker). Me plays nothing, so I watched TV and kept on eating. I love these gatherings because all the expert chefs bring yummy local dishes and these sessions satisfy my cravings to last me a while. I spent my time there eating.

There was a discussion after the guys were done with poker, a topic close to my heart. I will share in another post (because I write a lot and because I do not think everyone may be interested to read a picture0lessbook in one blog post).

Oh yes, before I end, I can proudly announce that our Rojak did rather well. We came home with a tiny portion left, out of 2 boxes that we prepared. I wiped out the remaining and felt it tasted superb.

When we go back to Sgp, either I or Mr Liow can make Rojak for potluck sessions already. Not that it's a neccessity since Rojak can be found almost everywhere...but still..hehe. Better than having nothing to offer mah, right?

Day 14: Final countdown

Countdown: 1 day

We went to Isabelle's house today again, to return her containers and enjoy her cooking again.

She's always warm and inviting. Whenever she hears of us going over, there will surely be food waiting for us. She even invited us to stay for dinner but I thought not today since Andy will be back and the family may appreciate some time together.

Not only was there lunch, she also packed dinner for me to bring home, and yummy kueh kueh. I wanted to ask how she made it but the moment she said it was quite a hassle, I gave up. Hehe. Once back home, we'll have the luxury of enjoying all these yummy kueh kuehs without having to make them.

Kimberly caught a ladybug from school to show AN today. It was beautiful. The only ladybug I saw in Singapore was super tiny and hardly visible enough to see the black and red contrast. This one that Kim caught was large enough to see the black spots against its red background, and white tiny patches on the black head where its eyes were supposed to be. Very beautiful... but without my k850, it's pointless to take pictures (I'm sure you've noticed the lack of photos since a long time ago).

Mr Liow will be home tomorrow. Time flies. Once he gets home, we'll have to start packing. The home is going to be in a big mess again. I HATE all these packing, but we have no choice.

Oh yes, I bathed Baileys in some samples I requested from Isle of Dogs. They have various formulas and they generously sent most of what they have, according to the BM's breed. I prefer them to have silky coats that fall more than puff up (coz B has naturally puffy coat which always make him look messy).

I tried the EPO formula on him. Used up 2 packs of 30mls each to bath him (one was of the standard EPO formula - no. 10, and the other was professional grade with higher concentration of EPO oil - no.12). And then I conditioned him with just 1 pack of 30ml conditioner for fall coat maintenance (no. 51)

I like how fresh the shampoo and conditioner smell! I hated doggie shampoos that remind me of air freshner coz they smell artificial but these combo emitted a different type of freshness, like freshly washed linen.

There is another formula that I'm waiting to try, this time on Maen, before I decide if I want to stock up on them. This othe one is laden with essential oils like geranium and bergamot (all my favourite oils!!) but these are much more costly (and do not come in gallons, only 250mls).... Unless I'm seriously hooked, and unless they are super impressive, I probably won't spend a bomb on these.

Actually, as long as a shampoo and conditioner works on Baileys, it's worth getting. Maen has naturally neat coat that always looks clean (but stinks at the butt) and all shampoos make her look good, even without conditioner.

This change-of-season shedding is serious shedding. I brushed Baileys 3 times, one brush through after another, and the brush was FULL of fur everytime. No matter how much I complained about their usual shedding, by the 2nd time I brush them, there would be very little fur left on the brush.

Was telling Mr Liow we do not just experience cultural differences, we also get to experience what the books mean about seasonal shedding. I just have to touch any of them now with my palm lightly and there will be LOTS of fur on my fingers.

I just have to keep brushing them, sending the irobot to work and cleaning the robot twice a day to maintain a minimum level of home cleanliness.

Counting the hours to receiving Mr Liow back. Glad it's finally over. Hehe.

Day 13: Baileys and Maen

Countdown: 2 days

Adrielle is becoming more and more of a doggie terrorist. She sees them sleeping where she didn't feel pleased about (even if they were curled at a corner of the house), she'd walk over and chase them away. Or if they both walk into the kitchen for a drink, she would hurry after them to shut them in the kitchen right away. She sees Baileys lying on their own bed in the kitchen, she will climb onto it and irritate Baileys so much Baileys will walk away with a sigh. She does not allow them to follow behind me or lick me (and I love to have them be with me all the time!!!). When she sees that, she will block them or push them away. Sigh...

They loved her since the day they met her in 2007 and have always tolerated her nonsense (beginning from when she started disturbing them due to ignorance, to her irritating them on purpose at this age).

They still tolerate her but I've come to know both of their characters even better now as I observe their reactions before stepping in to stop AN from going too far:

Baileys will walk away when he notices AN approaching. He's smart. Haha. He'll come to me when AN is either not around, not watching, or when he's very sure I have full attention to 'side' him. If he feels AN is going too far and I'm not around to step in, he'll bark at her (obigood! She can be a real pain at times and me telling her to stop disturbing them just doesn't stop her from doing it the next time). Or he'll jump up at her (when he has nowhere else to escape too). I've been warning her that she will get snapped at one day if she continues teasing them like that. Baileys had been disciplining her when he has no other choices and I'm quite glad he's not allowing her to get overboard. And I can't be more thankful that Baileys had only been scaring her off as a way of discipline.

Once upon a time, he would go near her to lick her, and keep close to her. Now if he has no business to be near her, he will not be found anywhere near.

As for Silly Maen, she just doesn't learn. She NEVER keeps in mind how rough AN can be. Against all odds, Maen will stay close to me, lick and 'groom' me every now and then, and she will never fail to lick AN after AN's daily naps (even though AN does not always reciprocate). She doesn't walk away from AN and either obediently follows AN (the human pup will attempt to 'walk' her by pulling her along by her fur, and Maen just walks calmly beside her. One will think she's so obedient, till one sees she's actually under control.), or freezes on the spot. She gets chased away by AN but comes back anyway without care for her own safety.

If I ever die without anyone at home with me, I'm sure Maen will not leave my side no matter how much danger she's in....my girl...

But then when I get upset with the furkids, AN will tell me: "Mummy, they didn't do it on purpose!" and try speak up for them by telling me she heard them saying sorry to me. And when she's in the mood for love, she will be so sweet and gentle when approaching them and then stroking/ massaging them. When all 3 are at peace (mainly when AN makes peace), the whole atmosphere feels so calm and nice. And AN will go: "awww..... Mummy they are so sweet."

Well, they always are...

I am blessed with super tolerating and patient furkids. Cavaliers are angels in the form of dogs. I wonder if AN will still be alive (or in a decent piece) if Baileys and Maen are not the angels that they are..

Day 12

Countdown: 3 days

Nothing much to update these 2 days.. Everything's pretty much the same.

Looking forward to Tuesday. 3 more days, finally!!

Day 10: blessed 3rd birthday

Countdown: 4 days

It's hard to believe that my baby is now 3 years old. At this time last year (let's not take time difference into consideration here), I should be sleeping peacefully at Mount A hospital while Mr Liow was busy cleaning up the house in preparation for the arrival of the princess. He did not have good nights the week before AN arrived. My almost non-existent pregnancy symptoms (leg cramps, sleeplessness, braxton hicks etc) hit me one nights after another for that last week. And Mr Liow was sweet to wake up with me in the middle of the night to massage me or wait with me to see if the seeming stomach cramps were contractions or simply false alarms. I remember my mum always complaining that my dad asked her to wait till the morning when she felt contractions that meant I was on the way! Hehe. Thank God Mr Liow wasn't such a sleepy head, even though those few nights were false alarms.

I brought AN to Isabelle's house to play with the kids and didn't intend to let them know that it was AN's bday. Still, one topic led to the other and they got to know, so Isabelle secretly asked Shaun to buy a cake back on his way home after school. Poor Shaun had only enough money for the cake and none left for candles. Hahaha!

AN enjoyed herself for sure. She loves Kimberly and the more they met, the more AN loves to be with her. She even told me: "Gor got Issac will snatch toy from me but Kimberly will snatch back from him." I don't like all these snatching of course, but still emphasized that jie jie Kim takes good care of her.

Kim was in school when we reached and came home at about 3pm. The moment AN heard Kim's voice, she hurriedly dashed to meet her, running barefooted on stones and not feeling painful. And then for the next few hours, the girls were inseperable. I was even able to go to target for nearly an hour with Isabelle while AN stayed home with Kim.

We stayed for dinner at Isabelle's place and after that, her family had a little celebration for AN with the bday cake and song. AN was happy (she always is when she hears the bday song, even if it wasn't sang for her). Dinner was needless to say, fantastic. Each time I went for dinner, Isabelle would make Assam seafood coz she knew I loved sour and spicy stuff. And each time I smell her Assam before it was dinner time, I never fail to feel prematurly hungry.

AN had lots of rice with ikan bilis (Anchovies) too. Must have enjoyed dinner as much as I did!

Isabelle was so sweet. No only did she get Shaun to buy a cake for AN, she also asked if she could get something for AN's bday. Told her the cake was already very sweet gift, along with the company! And then she would never allow me to go near the sink to do a single dish or help out with anything at all. So, basically, each time we go, we get good food, good company, and need not do anything (not allowed to do 'work' in her 'territory').

It was dark when we left her home at 9pm and she was worried coz the roads in Tucson are not very well lighted at night. In fact, there are no road lamps over a many stretches of roads. I was, too. I tried driving behind Mr Liow's car once after dark and couldn't see very well then. This time I prayed as I drove and thank God we got home safely.

AN fell asleep soon after she got onto the car. She missed her nap and we kind of expected her to knock out anytime in the car. Before she drifted off, she was telling me that gor gor Issac was very rough and how nice jie jie Kimberly was. She said gor gor banged on the window and that was not vey nice, that it was bad. She talked and talked a little more before she went silent. She had so much to say. I'm sure she'll have more to tell me tomorrow.

She woke up once we reached home and was super cranky!! She didn't want to go home, started screaming and didn't allow me to take her out of the car. I carried her home by force and she continued screaming that she wanted to go "one more round" before coming home. I was ready to take her for another round in the car around our estate if she stopped screaming but she did not stop after I warned her 3 times. So the car ride request was not fulfilled. She continued screaming the next half hour for the "one more round". Got me upset with the loud screams and I blew my top and shouted at her to stop.

I felt so terrible... I had wanted her to be happy today and tried my best to do anything I hoped will make her happy but I do not wish to pamper her by allowing her to get her way through tantrums. U know, her screams are so loud and last so long they loosen my mental screws. I could have turned violent but thank God for self control.

She finally settled down after an hour when she saw me cry. My tears turn her into a kind and sympathetic angel each time and she would go get me papers to dry my tears, and put my glasses back onto my face after she dried my tears. Sigh... If only the whole episode didn't start.. After noticing that I wasn't crying that badly, she told me to touch her face, smiled and asked: "My face very dry hor? I dry my tears in the toilet just now."

My angel, and monster... All-in-one. Many times during her tantrums, I couldn't help thinking out loud that I am wasting my time and youth (whatever that's left of it) on her, but when she's her sweet self again, I'd feel terrible painful for thinking those thoughts.

I love my Adrielle and pray I will be able to love her the way she most deserves. I read quote on the road that day that says: "Childhood should never be painful." I am constantly reminding myself that I want her to remember being very happy as a child. Discipline has to be harsh, even if it's non-physical like time out, but I pray that somehow, methods I use will not give her painful memories when she looks back.

Day 9: Gyne visit

Countdown: 5 days

I had an appointment with my gyne at 10am and had to wake AN up early. She lazed around a little too long and woke up too late for breakfast so she had none before we left home.

She was a very good girl at the clinic and remained seated throughout the whole session. One thing I didn't like was that we do not get to see the baby. Dr Henry Cheng showed us the baby at every single visit and we even got pictures of AN every month. This time, the only one we got was of it during its 8th week. But there was heartbeat and that's all matters for now. AN smiled when she heard the baby heartbeat. Before the doctor came, she pretended to be one and brought in a "computer" with her. She then pointed to her "computer" and professionally told me to "See? That's the baby."

After we were done with the checkup, we went to LeeLee to stock up on oriental groceries. AN asked to have Mac & Cheese. Must have been starving coz she's not had breakfast. It was a quick "grab and go" shopping and then we headed off to her favourite restaurant.

She got her mac & cheese and I ordered my unlimited soup & salad combo. This is the first time I brought her out for meals on my own. It was quite fun. Hehe. We ate, chatted and laughed. I should do this more with her. It felt so different, like as if we were friends. She saw me asking for a second helping of soup and salad and said she wanted more macaroni too. I would be thankful enough if she could finish her portion. If she wanted more after wiping her plate out, I'll gladly order another one for her. She had a good portion even though she could not finish her food. As long as she eats, I'm not too particular about the amount (of course, if she takes just 3 mouthfuls and says she had enough, I'd probably try talk her into having more.)

She's been good the past few days. There is still room for improvement when it comes to speaking politely. Her tone of voice sounded rude to me many times. I think I should listen to myself speak these few days. Must have picked it up from me.

Mr Liow will be out of the island on Friday and he shld hv Internet access then. So even if we cannot talk on the phone still, we can at least video-conference through msn.

It's Thurs tomorrow. AN will turn 3 tomorrow. I told her it's going to be her birthday but she didn't believe me. I'm bringing her to Isabelle's place tomorrow. No cakes, just pizza. Not so much of a celebration but I know she will enjoy herself with Kimberly and Issac and hopes to make her happy on this day. Didn't wanna get her a cake in case she doesn't wanna celebrate her birthday with Mr Liow when he comes home next week. We'll leave it till then.

Day 8: "When I get married.." & "Diapers"

Countdown: 6 days

Part 1:

We were at the topic of "marriage" on the level that AN understood and it made me tear a little to think of the day she will fall in love, get married and have her own kids and leave me. It touches me to think of that day but I know it will be hard for me to let her go.

Our conversation went like this:

AN: "Mummy, the baby in my tummy is getting bigger." (She likes to pretend that she too has a baby in her belly sometimes.)

Me:" You will have a baby when you grow up in future and get married. Not now because you are still little. But you have a baby doll, just not in your tummy."

AN: "Mummy, I will get married with you."

Me: "You will have to marry a boy. Mummy cannot marry you. See, mummy married papa and gave birth to you. And you will have to leave mummy and papa."

AN: " Then I also marry papa and the 3 of us will be together."

Me: "No, when you grow up, you will fall in love and marry the man you love, and by the grace of God, that man will also love God. Then you will marry in church and papa will walk you down the aisle."

AN: "I want mummy to walk with me."

I was starting to chock on my emotions by then. U never know how fast time can pass till it really is gone..

Me: "If mummy is still alive by then, I will do your makeup and hairstyling. Papa has to walk you down the aisle and send you away."

AN: "I don't want to go away.. I want to be with mummy.."

I was reminded of that first night after our church wedding. I cried the whole night coz I missed my parents. My mum too, cried the whole night. Who knows, I probably had a conversation like this with my mum when I was really really young too.


Part 2: Diapers
We received 3 pieces of diapers as sample from an online purchase and for the past 2 nights, AN was in diapers instead of training pants. Tonight's the last remaining piece and I reminded her that there will be no more diapers from tomorrow. She wanted to be in diapers like a baby (she had been asking to be treated like a baby lately, and speaking like one..)

Me: "Babies wear diapers. AN is a big girl and big girls wear training pants at night."

AN: "Adrielle is a baby!"

Me: "Adrielle is a big sister now and will help mummy change baby's diapers when baby comes. You will grow very very old and you can wear diapers when you are very very old."

AN: "Then mummy put on diapers for me?"

Me: "Mummy will be in heaven when you are very very old. Your children or grandchildren will help you change."

AN: "Cannot! Nobody can see my bottom! Why you want to go to heaven??"

Another topic that made me feel like crying. I can't be with her forever but I hope I can, for as long as possible, at least till she no longer needs me. Am I dying? Hehe. All these emotions again.

Day 7: Hahah!

Countdown: 7 days

AN sure has a good sense of humor:

That day I was busy looking for Mr Liow and paying up for Internet connections, AN kept herself 'useful' by familiarizing herself with everything behind cabinet doors and drawers. And then like something hit her, she got a shock and exclaimed: "Help! Mummy the house is in a big mess!!"

Yesterday, immediately after passing gas, she covered my mouth and immediately instructed me: "Mummy!! Stop! Don't say anything!" She already knew I was going to look and voice out my disgust. Hehe.

And she just said she wanted to "talk to popo (my mum)" when she switched the computer on abt 15mins ago. That will be 4.30am in Singapore and my family should still be in bed. I was doing dishes in the kitchen and told her she had to wait till 4pm (Tucson time) before we can see "popo". She kept quiet but I could hear her trying her luck and banging keys as if she didn't believe me and wanted to log into msn by herself. Then I heard repeated "ding" (some windows system sound). The joker then spoke up telling me: "I'm trying to wake popo up!"

Wahahahahahah! The adult joker is working on an island and he left me his junior joker. Hehe.

Updated @ 1.26am
AN had been an angel today. No tantrums, super cooperative and was very much in the mood to clown around. Cute.

She's also been eating non stop. Other than her 2hours of nap, the rest of the time she was snacking. She's finished 12 snack-pack sized of ritz peanut butter biscuits in 5 days in addition to regular meals which she did not refuse (but ate little of, as usual). Dinner was quite a huge portion this evening, and immediately after dinner, she asked for raw carrots. And then she wanted milo, which she had 2 cups of.

It was time for bed by 9.30pm but she couldn't go to sleep. Guess what? She asked for mac & cheese! I boiled her a hotdog instead and she had that with apple juice for supper.

Soon after finishing eveything, she felt tired and fell asleep. Was she THAT hungry that she couldn't sleep before that?? I'm not complaining. In fact, if not being worried that food will explode out of her super stretched tummy, or that she will suffer from indigestion from such heavy food right before bed time, I would have made her mac & cheese.

Day 6

Countdown: 8 days

I'm not the only one affected by the online shopping bug. Even AN was online shopping this morning. Hehe. I was cleaning the kitchen and she went online (after getting permission from me). The webpage she got into was of gymboree's coz that was my last visited site.

She kept going: "Mummy look at this skirt! I'm going to buy this for myself." and then short while later, she hurried me out to "look at this pants!" and emphasize that she liked pink coloured pants before confirming the purchase verbally with a word: "buy".

Hehe. I did get her some coz we got gymbucks from her classes and she got to choose which dress, top and bottom she liked. Only thing is, those would be for her when she turn 5 yrs and she would not remember she was the one who chose those clothes for herself. She's still the size of a small built 2 yr old so it's going to be a long time before these clothes fit her. We'll nt be shopping for her clothes for the next few years. Hehe.

Updated @ 2359hrs
Before the clock struck 12 midnight, I've already way exceeded our weekly budget by more than 2 times. I should have just allowed Comcast to suspend our Internet till Mr Liow comes back. He'll faint when he sees our bank statement next week.

Ok, no more shopping except for food till 2 weeks later. Hee..

Day 5: not everyday is sunday

Countdown: 9 days

Not everyday is Sunday.

For 4 days, AN was ok.

Then there has to be a day when she wants to do exactly opposite of what I ask of her.

She didn't want to brush her teeth in the morning again but did after a tanthrum session. And then when I was busy cooking, she insisted she wanted me to read to her and wanted me to do it "NOW". I couldn't, so she started screaming.

The moment I was done cooking, she said she wanted to sleep. Ok, since she won't be eating well when sleepy.

From 2 pm, she tossed and turned, asked for biscuits, asked for milk, asked to be read to. All the way till 4pm and she still was not sleeping.

I made her wake up for have her super late lunch since she didn't want to sleep. That meant she will not be able to have dinner and probably fuss to sleep by 7pm...or worst, earlier.

True enough, less than 10 mins into her meal, she stopped chewing and started rubbing her eyes. Time now is 5pm and she still has that mouthful of food trapped in there, for the past half an hr or so since she started her first scoop of food.

That time when I was hospitalised, the nurse said the doctor would not release me till my blood pressure went up and she was asked to agitate me. I joked that the best person for that would be my daughter. On a more serious thought, I was not really joking.

Used to suffer from low blood pressure a lot but I've now gone up to a more normal blood pressure. That's one good thing about having kids for people like me. They help bring your blood pressure up.

Updated @ 2346hrs:
This is not a perfect day but not way too bad either. I love AN. Much as she's struggling with growing up, she's also learning to be apologetic for behaviours that are not acceptable. I'm trying to not let anger prevent me from forgiving her once she said sorry (the anger sure lasts longer than I'd like it to) so the moment she apologised, I'll try my best not to frown and be gentler in my tone of voice (no matter how upset I still felt). It does seem helpful in that she knows I am no longer upset and I can see how much faster her mood gets lifted too.

I love her. But I need to discipline bad behaviour and being human, bad behaviour gets on my nerves. Praying that I will not explode when I'm teaching her not to raise her voice. Loud vs loud is not a good equation in this case.

Oh yes, I almost forgot to note this: I had a wierd dream last night.

I dreamt I felt contraction but no pains early one morning. Mr Liow was with me and we were back home in Sgp. Everything was exactly like how I felt my labour pain on 15th April 2007, the day of AN's birth. I got up from bed, took a seat in the living room while deciding whether or not baby was due (I felt terrible cramps during contractions at that time, but nothing in my dream). I don't think I saw AN in my dreams but when Mr Liow decided to drive me to Mt. Alvernia, I started to list out the many things he had to do in my absence. I was worried BM would jump out of the window (for those who didn't know, we stay in an apartment on level 16) for whatever reasons, so he had to ensure windows were not wide open before he left the house. Jumping out of windows is something they have obviously not tried but they only have to do it once and I will lose them forever.

And I think I reminded Mr Liow about something to do with AN but details feel very vague.

Have no idea what that dream meant but I'm already wondering if AN will be able to sleep without me at home when the time comes. Wonder if she will be crying for me. She'll be 3.5yrs old by then, relatively matured enough... but, will she miss me? Hee.

Day 4

Countdown: 10 days

Talking about shopping instinct, I've gone on Amazon to stock up on AN's bathing stuff. Had been using Mustela hair and body on her for the past 2 years with bubble baths in between. As an infant, a tiny bottle of baby bath lasted her almost a year but since she grew a little bigger and has longer hair now, we've completed 1 of 16oz hair & body and 2.5 of 16oz of bubble bath.

So with no. 2 in consideration, I ordered 10 bottles of bubble baths (I like natural scents like essential oils and those found in Sgp are not easily available), some hair & body shampoo and conditioner.

And then I read about frequent bubble baths causing UTI, bladder infections and such in girls (as well as women but I hardly soak on bubble baths so I'm not worried for myself as much). It may also affect the male species too, although less like due to our gender specific body part.

Thank God Amazon is flexible and that I got convinced after half hour of reading similar articles from different sources which agree with each other and I had part of that order cancelled. Will still buy a few bottles for them to soak in together once in a while and I have to convince AN about having no more daily bubble baths starting from today.

She's been touching her bottom front since months back. We thought it was just bad habit when she said it was not because it was itching or hurting. The skin around looked normal, she didn't seem to have problems peeing and life is now back to normal. She just places her hand 'there' sometimes.

Hmm... Now I have another question to ask Dr Bean when she goes for checkup.

AN had a nightmare last night and woke up crying. When I tried to hug her, she pushed me away. I think she dreamt that she was angry with me. Hehe. Took her a few minutes to come back to reality and then she nursed to sleep again. Nursing really is a fast way to put a child to bed. And I get my rest without having to wait for her to fall asleep first. But she's older now and with another coming, it has to be soon that she learns to sleep by herself.

She had been proudly telling us:"I don't need mem mem to go sleep anymore!" but after tossing around for a while, she would smile in embarrasment and pat me on my chest while whispering: "Mummy, mem mem please?" I think she's trying.

Ok, it's the start of a brand new day. I pray the same today, that we will be able to communicate in peace, that I will have superhuman patience and that she will not be too stubborn. Her eating and drinking habits have gone back to normal, thank God! She's snacking on biscuits had juice during tea time and that gives her extra calories. Am not too worried that she's not eating enough during meals now.

Updated @ 12pm:
Mr Liow just called to say there is no reception on the island so there is only a shared phone that I can get him by only when urgent. So, there's no internet, no phone network...and I will not be able to get him unless he calls back which he will nt likely be able to because the phone he called me from was an official phone. *duh*

And he just got to know that he will not be going to the 'mainland' and will have to remain in the island all the way till the last day.

Was thinking to myself that time is passing fast, that its only 10 more days. Now, nope, coz 10 days without hearing from him is going to feel VERY LONG!! Oh no.... :( Pray that these guys will be healthy and well...I wonder what will happen if any of them falls sick .... *touch wood*

Updated @ 8pm:
Our internet almost got suspended coz it slipped Mr Liow's mind to pay up before he left and I have no login details to pay up...It's urgent and necessary because it's one of AN's daily needs.

Posting on FB helped coz the wives of the guys also away helped! One of the pilot' wife called her hubby up and her hubby helped call the ang mo on the island and soon, Mr Liow called me. He thought it was something serious coz the whole world was asking him to call home. hehe.

Liping, if you happen to read this, thanks soo soooooo much for getting scrappy to find chris!

While desperate and not expecting Mr Liow to return call, I managed to get onto a livechat with comcast staff and it took us an hour to get him to reset my account. The staff was prompt and polite but AN was the one who had been so busy distracting me!

She needed to pee, and then 5 mins later said she wanted to poop. She dug into every drawer and started asking me the history of things she found. When a small child is bored, she can get irritating, especially when you are urgently trying to settle these things so that she can continue to enjoy going online. Haiyo!

While she was pooping, Mr Liow called. The poor baby had to poop a string of waste and stop at that because of the call. hehe.

The moment I clicked on the "submit" button and felt the wave of relief, the little one exclaimed: "Mummy!! The house is in a big mess!"

sigh ....

I need to go clear up the aftermath of a toddler-induced hurricane now.

Day 3: the shopping instinct emerges

Countdown: 11 days

Whenever Mr Liow is not around, the urge to shop online gets overpowering. The last exercise he went on, I bought lots of MAC makeup (mainly coz my card was expiring) and there were sales from other brands. But these are not solely for myself. It's for work, so ... My heart still skips a beat whenever I pull them out of their boxes once in a while. AN will ask that I open them up for her to try, and then I will have to sacrifice my own 'collection' which are also new so that she can experience the different types of makeup in this era. And it makes me happy to try them (when will I ever get to use them again, now with number 2 and no motivation to maintain a positive 'image'). I have to keep up with the trend for work's sake, if not for myself, or Mr Liow.

I've been window shopping online again lately, putting things into shopping carts but not checking out. Hehe. That's 'Window' shopping, same word, different way. Bought a brush toolbelt that I'd almost forgotten about and am looking out for train cases now. It'll be nice to be one from here coz there are pratically zero choices in Sgp.

And abt AN, things had been manageable so far. She was a little stubborn with things again but there was no need for KO sessions and we got by with each taking a step back. I forgot to buckle up up in the carseat before driving off just now and she only realised it at a traffic junction. She then exclaimed in horror: "Mummy! You forgot to buckle me!!"

Her reaction made me laugh and then I told her i'd stop at the nearest parking lot to buckle her in. She then warned me saying: "You have to make sure the police don't disturb me ok?" hahaha! She was worried about getting caught by the police. So funny.

She's been checking in with me about her own weight issues everyday as well, coz I had been telling her that she lost weight and that ribs are not supposed to be so obvious when undressed. So she's been rubbing her ribcage and asking me: "Mummy, my ribs are not there anymore?". I told her Milo makes her sick when she was coughing then and when I asked if she wanted Milo last evening, she went: "No mummy. Milo makes me sick." hahaha! And when I'm starting to relax my control over her ice-cream / chocolate intake lately, she will ask everytime: "Mummy, Adrielle not sick anymore?"

She wants to be sure she knows what's happening now and if I tell her that she's recovered (which I did once), she will have good reasons to ask for more unhealthy snacks. So now I tell her she's recovering, but not totally well, which is not untrue.

Jut before naptime a while ago, I had a Hershey's kisses and washed it down with a cup of water before lying down with AN. But as she kissed me, her eyes widened. She then said: "Mummy, your breath smells like chocolate." Oops. I had to be honest about it and when she asked to have one too, I promised her one after she wakes up later.

There's nothing you can hide from them... Sigh...

Pray the rest of the day will be just as manageable.

Day 2: AN's 1st encounter with death + random updates

Countdown: 12 days

I killed our sea monkeys! Was lazy to measure out the tiny portion of their feed, so I tried to gently pour the powder into the tank. Too much came out (almost a month's amount I think) but it didn't bother me much. Thought they should know not to overeat. Maybe they did not, but mostl of them died over a matter of 8 hours. Only 2 survivors and they are 'children'. Mr Liow was just telling me there were many new 'babies' few days ago. I'm sorry dear. I killed those babies :(

Next update, AN weighs 9.7kg. Uh-oh.... She's officially gone 1kg down from her highest weight before she got sick :( how long more will it take to pile them back on?

She woke up at 6am this morning, asked for apple juice and kept herself happy till about 7am when she asked to go downstairs. I gave in to her and thank God she was willing to brush her teeth, except that she didn't want me to help. Better some brushing than none, so I didn't insist.

It's been a month since she went to Gymboree. Will be bringing her for music class later. She's excited :)

Updated @ 11pm: This marks the end of Day 2 (with 12 more days to go). AN had been good and adorable, very giggly today. She was shy in class but participated in most of what Ms Angela did with the kids.

I can see her trying to remember to ask for things in the right manner and since she was in a good mood today, she was polite: "Mummy, can I (whatever she wanted)?".

She had 4 hours of nap this afternoon (maybe coz she woke up early at 6am in this morning) and we spent some time outside playing with bubbles. Mr Liow got her a bubble blower thingy which she couldn't stop asking for permission to play with. Took a little coaxing to get her to stop but she did. Baileys was in the house trying to dig his way out to join us (Baileys ADORES bubbles as much as AN does! Maen didn't care much for it though, but was happy jumping onto the panicky Baileys who realised we did not intend to have his participation.) AN, while enjoying the bubble session, kept commanding Baileys to "Stop it (scratching at and banging on the door)".

Nothing much for today. It's playgym for her tomorrow. She's going to enjoy herself again, if she doesn't wake up that early again tomorrow morning and can afford to stay awake till her gym time.

Mr Liow has finally reached San Diego (he was in Yuma whole of yesterday). Thank God for journey mercy. 12 more days to go. Feels like forever before he'll be home again but I'm sure time will fly. By the time he gets home, it will not be long before we rush into packing and then return to Singapore. I miss Singapore food terribly (and the thought of them makes me cringe in hunger at times...oh gosh...)

I can't wait to tuck into rojak, fish sliches soup @ Compasspoint, Fried Hokkien Mee, Old Chang Kee curry puffs & cuttlefishballs, fishball noodles, LONTONG....

Bad idea to start listing them out....I'm going to dream them up tonight else I'll wake up very depressed tomorrow morning.

Day 1 of home alone with AN and BM

Countdown: 13 days

Mr Liow will be away again for the next 14 days. For the first 9 days or so, he'll be on an island where there will be no Internet connections. So we can only communicate by phone.

AN has been seriously stubborn lately. I pray by the grace of God, we will survive with an intact relationship. It's an everyday prayer that I remain sane and patient whenever AN gets stubborn but she can be so terrible lately that nothing will make her change her mind once she's decided to do something. If she needs to get into a fit or scream her way through, she will do it all day. And my patience runs really thin, only recharging whenever Mr Liow comes back from work. He's also experienced for himself how frightening that behaviour can be :(

So, terrible 2 is really nothing compared to this.

On a side note, as much a she's hard to handle, we do see her trying to learn to get better. During the Florida trip, she's learnt to try to share things with younger kids. It takes a lot of talking to her and coaxing and she only showed signs of improving towards end of trip. Good enough for us.

Once, this kpo girl attempted to snatch a toy from KJ because KJ's dad asked him to leave it. KJ is only 18 mths old and takes a while to obey, if he does. AN wasn't an angel at 18 mths too. So, she thought she was doing uncle a favour by snatching without realizing that would inccur KJ's anger.

True enough, KJ smacked her (on the back or somewhere but I didn't think it hurt). KJ got disciplined for that but while he was getting an earful, she actually went to get him another (of his own toy..over her dead body will she offer her own) and pushed it at him. Of course, KJ was in no mood to reciprocate by then, but that action of hers melted Mr Liow and I.

She's not totally bad. I just have to find the right way to get my message across. But, how? Can I have a wish? I'll wish for wisdom like Solomon did.

I pray that there'll not be a struggle whether to stay upstairs or to downstairs when she wakes up later. Oh, and I don't wish to have to give time out just to get her to brush her teeth. Please pray for me that I will have superhuman patience for today. And that we will be able to communicate on the same frequency.

Prov 3:5-6 (thanks Michy, somehow I think I noe u better than just a passerby)

Updated @ 8pm:
Thank God AN had been a good girl today. She was willing to obey with a little negotiating (better than totally insisting to have her way yesterday) and had enough of little snacks here and there to make up calories (still very little but I'm not asking for too much). She had been polite, did not shout, was much much more cheerful than a few days back and all. I hope those tanthrums were results of her feeling unwell for a long time and will not return again once gone. Amen!

For all these while when AN made me cry, Maen was within inches of my reach watching me closely. She's my angel. It's like she'll never let me be through anything alone and had on every single occassion, observed me closely with her soft gaze. Oh my goodness... How much I love this gentle spirit inside the body of a supposed ferocious wolf descendant....

Took my weight this morning and I was 45.3kg. For the first time in my life, I am worried that I have not been putting on weight. In fact my weight had gone down. From the last time I put on weight before I got pregnant, till I was expected to gradually see an increase, I've lost at least 2kg.

Then again, my weight had been fluctuating on some days. Some days ago, I was 46.9kg. Was that water retention? So soon? Oops.

Stammering 3 year old

AN had been stammering lately and it's making me nervous (again).

She's been going: "I-i-i-i-i-i-i-i- ........want to (whatever activity she's thinking of)" or "A..a....a.aa......aaa....drielle wants to (whatever)". I noticed she mostly stammers when she's starting her sentence with "I" or "Adrielle", as of now (please do not let it get worse...)

Made me wonder if there was some virus she caught that's now attacking her brains.

The poor baby even told me after stammering a while ago (when she decided to give up telling me what she was thinking about): "Mummy, Adrielle cannot talk." You can imagine how bad I felt for her. I told her she can talk and that she's been telling me so many things, that she only needs to slow down when she's speaking and I am not hurrying her.

After doing a search online, I realised it's not uncommon (but it does not happen to every child) and unless it gets bothersome, many 2.5-3 years old go through this stage where their speech is unable to catch up with their overexcited brain (and even up to age 6). One speech therapist mentioned that if the stammering is not accompanied by stress, tension, unusual behaviors (e.g., blinking, facial grimaces, etc.), it's very likely "normal" and will resolve on its own. If other factors are involved, and it continues for a long period of time, a speech-language evaluation might be a good idea.

Some assurances and tips I get online (and I'm going to check with Dr Bean on AN's 3rd year checkup to make sure she's good):
http://www.stammering.org/parents_help.html
http://www.growingwell.com/bchild/behavior.htm#st
http://www.revolutionhealth.com/healthy-living/parenting/stuttering?msc=ehdlp_stuttering-3-year-old&section=section_01

Recovering....but when will we recover?

I have recovered. I'm no longer having diarrhea or affected in any physical ways by the stomach flu, nor UTI (although I still have to finish the course of antibiotics).

As much as I expected AN to have diarrhea, she did not. In fact, she had very soft stools on Friday, no poop yesterday and nicely formed but not hard stools this morning. Her stools were green. I think AN is more prone to hard stools than diarrhea, somehow, even though we all expected her to have diarrhea. Oh well, might as well, and that's to her benefit.

She had been complaining of tummyache many times a day till yesterday. Each time she would frown and whine, and ask that I massage her tummy. Once in a while, she would complain that she felt like throwing up but she did not throw up once. Maybe just nauseous.

Have not heard her complain of tummyache today. I pray this marks the end of the stomach flu for her too.

Her food intake is miserably low. It's hard to believe she's having sooooo little food each day since the day she fell sick. And she's drinking so little. Her training pants were DRY this morning (meaning she did not pee during the night, so you can guess much little she drank during the day). From the time she woke up till now (8pm), she peed only twice. She would usually have gone 4 times during the day and wake up with wet training pants in the morning...

Now I not only have to worry about her not eating enough, I have to worry about her not drinking enough.

It's so depressing....What have I done wrong? What can I do to correct things? How can I help her? I feel so helpless. She does not want to eat, does not want to drink. What can I do? I can't force her. I can't make her. Coaxing does not help. Now that she's still in the recovery process, she is also not in her best mood. She's been shouting more than ever, and .... I don't know... hard to handle.

There is practically nothing I can do. I feel as if I'm sitting here watching her rot away.... She's all skin and bones now. And believably heading towards dehydration.

I must be doing something very wrong....what happened to the joy of staying at home to watch your child grow up? I can't believe I'm pregnant again. What happens if the second child is like AN? The way AN is growing up, in no time hospital visits will become very very frequent. Maybe it's already starting....how? How how how how how???????

Back from hospital

The vomiting persisted and got worse last night so I SMS Mr Liow to see if he could be back earlier. I was worried coz as I throwing up in the toilet, AN was nauseating in her sleep (but did not throw up, thank God!)

1am: Mr Liow came home. I kept visiting the toilet. The diarhea was watery and almost CLEAR! Looked more like puke than something out from bottom. Mr Liow asked if i needed to go to the hospital but I thought I'd wait. I wasn't comfy abt bringing AN to the hospital given that she's still weak from recovering.

1.30am: I couldn't take it anymore. Didn't seem to be improving. Seems like a rainy and cold day from morning, and a likely longer wait. Mr Liow brought me to the doctor.

3am: I was given a wheelchair and was pushed around to get documents settled. I felt really dizzy by then and couldn't really walk. They got me a room to lie down while waiting for the doctor to see me. I was given IV drops and anti-nausea drips. The nurse took a long time to locate my veins. Mr Liow decided to bring AN home to sleep because it would take almost 2 hours before the drips are gone.

4am: Pack 1 of my IV finished. Nurse came in to check if baby is ok but found no heartbeat besides my own. She said it was coz I was too small in size so it's easy to get my own heartbeat instead of the foetal's. Said Dr will bring in a machine so that we can see the baby on monitor. I was asked to take a urine test.

4.30am: Dr came in to check baby and I got to see it for the first time since 8th week. It was punching the air and Dr said it was feeling much better than I did. Hehe.

5am: drips completed. Urine test showed I had UTI. Dr said my vomiting may be due to the infection instead of the stomach flu. I was prescribed antibiotics.

Mr Liow came back to pick me up. Poor thing. He had almost no sleep and AN had disturbed sleep here and there as well. We went home to rest immediately but AN kept waking up to tell me she needed to throw up, a least 4 times. But she did not throw up. I think she's probably suffering from a headache with all the waking ups in btw.

9am: Mr Liow got up to get me my medicines and some more juices for AN coz she's started asking for more. And also cranberry juice for me. I peed and realised I felt a slight sharp pain near my pelvic as I peed. So that was UTI. I had been feeling that for days but thought it was due to the bladder being squashed by my womb and the 'contraction' of the bladder after being emptied was what caused the slight discomfort. AN went back to sleep so I continued sleeping with her.

12.30pm: AN was ready to wake up and we found Mr Liow making porridge for us in the kitchen. My hubby's been so sweet... He was on night shift, came back and had no sleep, went out to get me my medications early in the morning and came home to cook for us.. He still had to go back to the office this afternoon. So that I can rest, he's now keeping AN company.

He bought me an ice cream cake and was actually excited about doing a belated celebration for me but at this point, we all can't take ice cream. I felt so bad about it but he was still sweet and said we will all be able to eat ice cream by weekend. He got me an LV wallet for birthday secretly and showed it to me just now. My first LV. It was thoughtful of him to choose a most practical design that I can bring out with 2 kids in future. It's got a compartment for a flat phone (iPhone size) so I have everything within reach.

He'll be away from Tues. We're both going to miss his presence. He'll be away at an isolated island with no Internet connections and probably very little network for phone. Pray that him and the people following him will be kept safe.

Going to rest more now. Hubby's got to pack for his trip too. Hope I can be of some help.

My turn

As I'm typing this now, I'm also recording my 3rd trip to the loo with totally watery stools and have thrown up twice since 10pm.

Please pray that this is not a case of stomach flu. At this rate we are going, AN may probably get it back from me and Mr Liow will be away for 2 weeks from Monday.

I really really cannot fall sick.

Please keep us in ur prayers..

So far so good

AN has not had diarrhea today as of now (7.25pm). Thank God for that! She did cringe and whine a few times in seeming discomfort. I took her to the toilet in case she needed to let go (either from top or bottom) but neither happened. I think she's still getting tummyaches but the pain didn't seem to bother her for more than 20 seconds.

She had super little to eat and is not drinking as much as she needed to. She's still feeling a little tired and almost fell asleep on her own as soon as she hit the sofa after a light dinner just now.

Seeing her feeling so much better today made Mr Liow and I so happy. Really, nothings more important than a happy and healthy child.

Being well means she gets up to mischief again. I was secretly wishing that she remained vulnerable and needy. I didn't mind cleaning up messy vomit or spending hours rubbing her back to comfort her. I could hug her to sleep all day while stroking her hair... I prefer that to having to repeat instructions to a stubborn 3 years old who decides when or whether she wants to obey.

But when I'm reminded of how terrible she looked and must have felt when sick, the same thoughts came back: I'd rather she remains happy and healthy.

She's been to the doctor so much lately that she knows exactly what they would be doing with her, and she makes me her patient now. She starts by listening to my heart and lungs, push a stick into my mouth, and then inspect my ears. Then she tells me I have to eat my medicine if I want to get well...hmmm... I wonder who was the one who refused medicines...

My baby....I'm just so thankful she seems fine now.